


Façade

by negiramen



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Not literally, banggyu is sexy, sunggyu is an angel, woohyun is obsessed with money and 'love'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-07 13:54:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1901505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/negiramen/pseuds/negiramen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nam Woohyun is a name almost everyone in the party scene knows. He has lots of money and doesn’t mind buying friends or strangers the drinks. He wears the most expensive brands one can possibly buy. He is the best student in his college. Nam Woohyun has it all in the eyes of the public. He is rich, handsome and intelligent.</p><p>But that is only a façade.</p><p>They don’t know who Nam Woohyun really is.</p><p>Pairing: Woogyu (a bit Banggyu)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Face

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the idols named, but I do own the story :) so don't steal!  
> Leave a comment if you like it~
> 
> \- negiramen

**T** he music in the club is loud. Way too loud. It’s humanly impossible to listen to someone speaking right into your ear, because the music is drowning even the loudest sounds. It’s the kind of music that always plays in clubs. There is no sense to the lyrics, just the same words getting repeated again and again. Everything inside the club is vibrating from the strong bass and it certainly helps to make the already dizzy crowd even more lost. Bodies are pressed against other bodies to find some kind of balance or orientation – an anchor of sorts – so the music won’t swallow you whole. Everyone needs someone or something to lean on, so they won’t fall over and lose consciousness, but it’s all hidden behind the façade of a dance. They are too tired to dance, but too scared of losing their way if they were to leave. It’s in the nature of humans to stick to other humans when they feel danger. And the music is a danger of sorts, mixed with the alcohol and other forbidden substances that were served along with it. The whole room smells forbidden, but no one cares or notices. They are busy keeping up with the lazy dance moves to hide how far gone they are.  
  
He’s in the middle of everything and he is not better than anyone else. Even when he opens his eyes, the things he sees are but a blurry mirror of the reality. He knows that he is in a club and there are bodies surrounding him from all sides, a chest against his back, thighs against foreign thighs, someone is leaning against his chest, but he is not sure if that person is unconscious or still moving. He has no time to wonder about that. He needs to concentrate to keep his body working. Clubs are a game and you lose if you are blacking out.  
  
The music changes to another annoying tune. It’s buzzing right in his ears, frying his brain cells and then spitting them out. He feels the ground sway under his feet – or is his body swaying? – and one of his pillars of support is gone in the next moment. One person down, but it doesn’t take long for another girl to fill the empty spot. He opens his eyes because a scent of vanilla fills his nostrils – an almost nostalgic scent from long ago. He pulls the girl closer to his body and she doesn’t mind. Her hip is grinding against his and the smell is so strong, so close. He feels like the scent crawling down his throat and slowly suffocating him, making him choke on memories.  
  
“Su-“  
  
Suddenly, the song stops and silence falls on them. It feels like a punch in the gut after the mind-blowing noise before. He staggers backwards, clumsily pushing the person behind him back as well. “Sorry…”  
  
“ _The club closes now, guys. Get home safe._ ” The DJ tells them and everyone makes disappointed noises.  
  
“You okay there, Nam?” The other guy asks.  
  
He manages a half-steady nod and blinks a few times to clear his sight. It’s suddenly easier to see, to breathe and feel, now that the music is gone. The crowd on the dance floor is quickly dispersing too. “Never been better. Great party.”  
  
“All thanks to you, dude!” Another voice says. Woohyun doesn’t know the name. Has he even talked to him before?  
  
The walk to the bar is short – luckily. He hopes no one sees how bad he feels inside and how hard it is for him to stay on his feet. His head is still drumming from the music and although he had little to drink, Woohyun feels like he wants to throw up. Some people pat his shoulder before they leave.  
  
“Thanks for the drinks, Nam!” _Who are you?_  
  
“Let’s party again!” _Sure._  
  
“You are the best friend one can possibly have!” _You mean my wallet, don’t you?_  
  
“The tab is on you, right?” _Like always._  
  
“You are the best!” _I’m not._  
  
“Indeed, no party without Nam Woohyun!” _I’m tired._  
  
“Man, I wish I had money like you!” _If only you knew._  
  
In the end, he is the last person left in the club – not counting the barkeeper slash owner of course.  The older guy gives him a worried glance that Woohyun barely catches. He feels empty and worn-out. “You know those people just hang out with you because you have money.”  
  
 _Shut up._  
  
“They will drop you as soon as you aren’t paying their drinks anymore.”  
  
 _I know that. So what? I just have to go on and don’t stop. Everyone loves me. Everyone looks up to me. This is all I need. I’m using them like they use me._  
  
He doesn’t want any friends.  
  
He wants to be **loved**.  
  
  
  
  
 **W** oohyun returns home with an empty wallet, a bad headache and a bitter aftertaste on his tongue. The scent of vanilla is still lingering on his skin and everywhere in the air. The girl from the dance floor found him again once he left the club and they had a little fun in one of the alleys - though he would hardly call it _fun_. But he couldn’t turn the girl who smells like vanilla away. She reminded him of his past, of a better time and of someone he no longer was.  
  
Who is he now?  Woohyun doesn’t know.  
  
He closes the door behind his back and stumbles down the short hallway. The wood is squeaking under his feet, but he is already used to the sound, so he doesn’t react. After the short hallway, he is already in his living room slash bedroom slash kitchen. The apartment doesn’t have any more rooms - just this one, the bath and the small corridor to his door. The room has one window, but it’s dirty and you can barely see the outside world through it, but Woohyun doesn’t care about that. He never looks out of it anyways. It’s just there to spend light, even if it’s dimmed light.  
  
The whole apartment is dark, but he doesn’t bother on finding the light switch because it isn’t going to work anyways. He’s behind on his payment for electricity, water and gas. Woohyun carefully takes of the expensive black fur coat and folds it with precision before putting it on the only chair he owns. He immediately starts to feel how cold and the man shivers. He pressed his teeth together as he takes of the white shirt. He takes extra care of it because it is made out of silk and one of the most expensive shirts he owns. He puts it on a hanger and hangs it into his wardrobe. There are more shirts of all colors and designs; everything wears names of important brand names that most people only know from the distance. The freezing air hits his skin and lets goosebumps appear all over it, but Woohyun pays no heed to it and continues with his black pants. He finds a stain on it while he folds it and the man thrashes it into a corner of the room. He lets out a shout in anger and grabs his hair in frustration.  
  
 _It’s ruined! I can’t use it again…_  
  
 _I have to buy a new one._  
  
Woohyun groans and staggers towards the mattress on the ground. He drops on his knees and rolls his body into the blanket. The fabric is cold, but he knows it will turn warm soon enough. His head finds the pillow and he closes his eyes, trying to find sleep. It’s absolute silence in his apartment, but it’s not silent in his head. He keeps worrying how the stain got onto his pants and how he is going to pay for a new one. The month is far from over and he has already paid a lot for that bag from Italy. He wonders how many meals he will have to skip, wonders if the money will be enough to pay for the rent next month, wonders if he can even go to one more party without overdrawing his bank account.  
  
Not once does he ask himself if the new pair of pants can wait or if he should refund the bag.

  
  
**This is the truth about Nam Woohyun**  
  
 **He is not rich:**

Woohyun is a poor college student, who barely makes it by the end of the month every time. He works several part time jobs to buy all the brand stuff he owns. He has been buying those expensive items for years and has neglected other things for it, like food, sleep or paying his bills.  
  
 **He doesn’t live in a big mansion with butlers and maids following his every wish:**

He lives at the corner of Seoul where only the scum resides. His flat is small and the bathroom is close to the size of a public toilet stall. In theory, he could shower and use the toilet at the same time. He can’t afford more than that.  
  
 **His parents don’t own famous companies:**

His parents are dead and even before that they were both two nobodies. His father drank a lot and never had a job, while his mother had to overwork herself to feed the family.

  
  
Why all the lies? Why not put his money into more important things?  
  
Woohyun has been poor his whole life. He has experienced how poor people are treated by those who have more. All his life he had been nothing but a shadow - a being barely worth living in the eyes of others. He had been called bum, beggar, cockroach and useless piece of shit so many times. Growing up without his parents’ love and losing all of his friends had made him lonely and bitter, but Woohyun had also learned something. The more money you had, the more people respected you.  
  
He couldn’t change the fact that he is poor, so he just became a rich man on the surface. He dresses himself in expensive clothes, buys the newest and hottest stuff to show off. Woohyun pays the drinks of people he has never met before and it works like a miracle. Suddenly, everyone loves him and he is in the spotlight no matter where he goes. People look at him with envy in their eyes. He feels strong when he notices their gazes on him -the silent admiration in their eyes because he has a lot of money.  
  
The man knows that the admiration in their eyes is as fake as his web of lies, but he doesn’t care. All he needs is their gazes, the crowd surrounding him and showering him with attention. It’s worth not eating for days or weeks if he can be a star in return – a sparkling star that everyone looks up to. It’s worth almost freezing to death in his flat if he can feel warm for a few hours between the bodies on the dance floor. It’s worth neglecting his sleep by learning for his studies if it gets him the admiration of the whole student body in return.  
  
It’s worth being a fake.  
  
That’s what he tells himself every time he can’t fall asleep - that all of this is worth it because outside his apartment he can be someone else. He can be the king of fools.  
  
The ace of hearts.  
  
  
  
He can be perfect.  
  
  
  
 **T** he man notices that he can’t fall asleep, so he grabs the book about human anatomy that is lying next to his mattress. Woohyun uses a flashlight to throw some light on it to read. _Better make use of the time instead of just lying around._  
  
His first job starts in 3 hours, but he makes use of every minute to learn for his upcoming exam – until he falls asleep with his head resting on the book.  
  
The flashlight starts to flicker ten minutes later and soon dies, but that goes unnoticed by the sleeping male.  
  
Otherwise he would be worrying about the costs for new batteries already.  
  
  
  
That is Nam Woohyun’s life.  
  
  
  
 **H** e has two stable part-time jobs.  They are both under the week, because he usually needs his weekend for the parties. The clubs are open 7 days a week of course, but Woohyun can’t manage to pay for drinks every night. He’d need to drop his studies for that, but that would mean losing a part of his “followers”. Sometimes people ask him why he doesn’t go to any clubs during the week. Woohyun has the perfect excuse for that: he has to use the time to do assignments or learn for exams. No one doubts that answer because he is the best student the college has ever seen, though in reality he can’t go because he has to work, so that he will be able to pay for his ‘friends’ on the weekend. It’s an endless circle of making money and burning it – with his college studies squeezed in between. It is tiring but also fulfilling at the same time. Woohyun doesn’t mind making sacrifices to get the spotlight.  
  
When the money is getting tight, he has to find another part-time job or get money on other ways, but the jobs he can do are very limited. He can’t do anything that would expose him to a lot of people. Woohyun has the looks, but he doesn’t dare to model. His ‘friends’ could get curious and sniff around. Of course he could say it’s just a hobby, but he still doesn’t want to risk it. He has built an image of himself as the rich boy with good upbringing – he doesn’t want to ruin that. Jobs as waiters are also impossible, since someone he ‘knows’ could come inside and spot him. How could he explain that? Hardly. So Woohyun has to work more in the background. Once he worked as an actor for pornographic film – under the condition of his face being unseen – but then he had to give a –luckily blindfolded – classmate of his a blowjob. He was lucky that guy never found out who sucked his dick that night. Woohyun stopped after that.  
  
He has a job as a cook at one restaurant and it usually starts in the afternoon until late. His job during daytime is similar, but it’s at a bakery. He loves that job because that was the only thing his mother ever taught him: baking. Woohyun likes decorating cupcakes or other small pastries with detailed and clever designs. He is never too tired for the job, although it starts early in the morning. It’s the only thing in his life that he does because he wants to do it. Of course he does it for the payment too, but he likes baking nevertheless. Sometimes he opens the door a bit to peek into the sales area in the front of the shop. It’s a small café and people are sitting everywhere, enjoying the pastries he made. He observes them quietly, waiting to see a smile or another positive sign. Those little reactions make his day and they keep him going.  
  
Like every morning, he starts his work at the bakery at 6 a.m. with a smile on his lips to hide the sorrow he felt and enough BB cream on his skin to hide the bags under his eyes. His boss greets him cheerfully. She’s around the age his mother would be right now and sometimes she acts like a mother to him. Woohyun has a lot of fake people around him, but she is not one of them. She doesn’t know the fake life he is leading and she certainly knows that he is in need for money. The owner often nags him because his skin looks dry or because he is wearing the same clothes week after week – that’s because most of his clothes are brand stuff and he can’t wear that at work. He doesn’t know why she doesn’t fire him, so she can look for a better worker.  
  
“The gray shirt again? Did you even wash it, Woohyun-ah?” She asks him as he takes off his jacket.  
  
Woohyun looks down at himself and gives her a shy smile. “I’ll do it tomorrow. I sort of overslept.”  
  
She smacks his head softly and puffs her cheeks. “This boy! And you smell like cigarettes and alcohol! What did you do yesterday? Did you have no time to wash up either?”  
  
He bows quickly. It was a bit hard to shower without any water. “I’m sorry!”  
  
“Go take a shower, Woohyun. You know where the bathroom is.” She pats his back as she walks past him into the kitchen.  
  
He bows his head in shame, but Woohyun takes her offer and quickly runs up the stairs. He takes a quick shower to wash off the nasty smell inhabiting his skin and hair. When he is done, he finds his grey shirt gone but a cleanly folded blue-checkered shirt is lying there instead. It smells like it has never been worn before and he wonders if the owner bought it for him. He presses his lips together and puts it on quickly. Woohyun doesn’t know how to thank her or if he would even still be here without her help. He knew he should be happy with just this – that this should be enough – but he wants more. More attention. More affection. More love.  
  
Woohyun wipes the tears away that welled up in his eyes unconsciously. He dries his hair for a bit and then goes down to help the owner. He puts on his work clothes and joins her in the kitchen. “Ah, there you are.”  
  
“Thank you for the shirt, but-“  
  
“No buts! I don’t want my pastries to smell bad. Now get to work, sweetie. There will be customers coming in 2 hours and I don’t want them to look at an empty display.” She looks back to the dough she is kneading and Woohyun bows again.  
  
“Thank you and sorry!”  
  
She laughs. “Make it up to me by working hard. I didn’t hire you for talking.”  
  
“I’ll do my best!” Woohyun says and he immediately gets to work after washing his hands once more.  
  
  
  
 **H** ours pass while they are making different kinds of food. The old lady takes care of buns and breads, while Woohyun covers the sweets. They are both mostly quiet during those hours, not because they don’t like each other, but because they are both too concentrated to start a conversation. When the shop opens, the owner goes to the front. She has a girl helping her in the café. Her name is Ailee and she’s an angel – not literally, but she just has that shine to her. Woohyun thinks she could make it bigger than being just a waitress, but she likes working in the bakery and has no ambition to look for a better paid job.  
  
He is working on decorating the strawberry shortcakes when the door to the kitchen slips open again. “Woohyun-ah?”  
  
The man turns his head and gives the owner a questioning glance. “Yes, Soyou-ssi?”  
  
“Ailee just called. She told me she can’t come today, seems like she ran into a little accident. Do you think you can stay a little longer and help out in the front when it gets busy, Woohyun-ah?”  
  
Woohyun doesn’t want to be risked being seen, but on the other hand the old lady always does so much for him. How much of an ass would he be to reject her now? Luckily, he doesn’t have any classes today. “Okay, I will.”  
  
“Thank you, sweetheart. I’ll call you when I need you.” She disappears through the door again and the man continues his work on the shortcakes. _No one will recognize me. It’s okay!_  
  
It takes a while before Soyou finally calls for his help. He takes off the white hat and washes his hands quickly, before joining her in the front. “What should I do?”  
  
“Can you take care of the customers? I’m busy at the register.” She asks him with a smile and Woohyun scans the café before he nods.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Check the table at the window and the one next to the bookshelf. Thanks, Woohyun.”  
  
He nods and grabs a notepad and a pen from the counter. Woohyun walks over to the table close to the window first. There are two ladies sitting at the table, but they are both past the age of someone who goes clubbing. He smiles at them – a smile that hopefully seems more hyper than tired. “Welcome to Honeytree! How can I help you two beautiful ladies?”  
  
The two women giggle like school girls and he rolls his eyes inwardly. At least they don’t waste his time further and tell him what they want to eat and drink. Woohyun nods absent-mindedly and walks over to the other table, which has two guys. They seem to be around his age, but he is relatively sure that they haven’t met before. One of them has bright pink hair and he would surely remember such a strange hair color. The other guy has short black hair and wears a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, which surprisingly enough make him look cool instead of nerdy. “Welcome to Honeytree!”  
  
The pink-haired lad looks up at him with a hint of disappointment in his eyes. He looks past Woohyun for a moment. “Is Ailee-ssi not in today?”  
  
“She is…busy. I’m helping out today.” He answers and the guy lets out a sigh. Woohyun smiles slightly. _Guess he likes Ailee._ “So, what can I bring you two?”  
  
“I’ll take a Caramel Latte Macchiato!” The pink-haired dude replies and looks over to his friend. “What do you want, hyung?”  
  
Woohyun looks over to the black-haired guy and finds him staring. _Oh shit, does he recognize me?_ The stranger snaps out of trance though when his friend calls him. He blinks cutely. “W-What?”  
  
“Your order, hyung! He’s waiting!”  
  
The glasses guy looks at Woohyun again. “Have we-“  
  
The door to the café is opened and the ringing of the bell interrupts him. The baker glances up and sees a big guy walking in their direction. He only needs one glance to know that all of that guy’s clothes are brand items – and no cheap ones either. His big build and the sunglasses make him look pretty intimidating. The two friends at the table look at him too.  
  
“Yongguk!” The glasses guy exclaims and stands up from his chair. He looks a bit nervous to Woohyun. “How did you know I’m here?”  
  
Woohyun observes the scene before him silently. He isn’t sure if he should leave or stay actually, but something makes him stay. The big guy takes off his sunglasses and steps closer. He smiles shyly, not so intimidating anymore. “I was passing by and saw you in here. H-Here that’s for you…”  
  
He takes a bag from behind his back and shoves it into the hands of glasses guy who blinks in confusion. Woohyun reads the label on the bag and gasps quietly. _Givenchy? You are telling me he just casually walked around with this Givenchy bag and coincidentally found the person he bought it for?_ The black-haired guy seems speechless too. “I…I can’t accept this, Yongguk. I told you I don’t want you to buy me any more expensive stuff like that.”  
  
Yongguk’s smile falters for a moment, but he doesn’t take the present back. “Please accept it! My feelings for you are sincere!”  
  
“You don’t need to prove it to me like this. My trust can’t be bought with money.” The black-haired guy replies, but his attempt to give the bag back fails yet again, because Yongguk simply turns around and walks away. “Yongguk! Take the bag!”  
  
“Keep it!” The big guy runs out of the café a little faster and Woohyun raises his eyebrows. _Who would reject a present like that? Is he insane? You know how much I’d need to work for what is inside that bag?_  
  
The glasses guy sighs and sinks back onto his chair. His eyes are glued to the bag with a defeated expression on his face. Woohyun sees his friend reaching over the table to grab the bag from him. “Dongwoo!”  
  
“Just one look!”  
  
“Woohyun!” He snaps out of his observation and turns his head towards Soyou. “What are you doing standing around? The customers, boy!”  
  
Woohyun looks around the café and notices that some people seem like they want to pay and there is also a new couple at one of the tables. “I’m sorry!”  
  
He quickly returns to serving the customers, not noticing that someone is staring at him. Woohyun tries to concentrate on his job, since he doesn’t want to lose it. When he looks back to the table by the bookshelf, the two guys are already gone. He blinks and walks over in panic. _Did they leave without paying?_ He spots the Givenchy bag on one of the chairs and grabs it with wide eyes. The waiter looks around for the guests, but they are nowhere in sight. _How could they leave this behind?!_  
  
“Woohyun, they paid at the counter. You don’t have to worry.” The old lady calls out to him.  
  
Woohyun walks over to the counter. “But they forgot this bag.”  
  
“Oh! Put it somewhere behind the counter. Maybe they will return for it.”  
  
He follows her order and puts it somewhere safe. Woohyun can’t fight his curiosity though and looks inside. He can see a very expensive looking scarf and a little card. His fingers pick up the card without his consent and he reads the message quickly.

 

_For my love: Kim Sunggyu.  
May you always stay warm._

 

“Kim Sunggyu?” Woohyun mumbles. He stares at the card with wide eyes as the smell of vanilla suddenly fills his nostrils.  
  
“Excuse me?” A voice interrupts his train of thoughts and he turns his head. “I think you found my bag.”  
  
And Woohyun can’t believe he didn’t recognize him before. Now that he looks at him it seems so clear.  The black-haired man laughs and the sound makes his whole body vibrate. “Do you want to keep it?”  
  
“Eh?” is the only reaction he manages.  
  
The glasses guy smiles. “It’s fine. You can keep it if you want.”  
  
His pink-haired friend pops up next to him. “Hyung, you can’t just give it to someone else!”  
  
“He looks like he needs it.”  
  
They turn to leave again. Woohyun stands there frozen and stares. The black-haired guy – _Sunggyu, god, how is that possible?_ – looks back to him once more. “Have we met somewhere before? You seem familiar.”  
  
“No…” He says and next time he blinks, the two guys are gone like an illusion. _Yes._  
  
  
Why did he lie?  
  
  
He doesn’t want his first love to see him like this – the moneyless part-timer who has no heating, water or food, whose apartment is too small to be decent. He doesn’t want Sunggyu to see him like that ever again.


	2. Second Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drunk!woohyun, angel!sunggyu and well stuff happens, past gets revealed DUDUDUM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there~  
> leave a comment if you like it!  
>  **bold marks a paragraph that plays in the past!!**

 

** But his whole world changes soon.  
One of the reasons is that he realizes Sunggyu will graduate in the next school year. That means Woohyun won’t be able to continue his observations. The thought of losing the older boy makes him depressed. Sunggyu will move on to a high school, while Woohyun will have one more year left without him. He doesn’t know how he is supposed to go on without the older boy, especially since they probably won’t meet again in high school. The chances are low that he will enter the same school as Sunggyu, which leaves him with very limited options. He can either suck it up and get over his little crush or he can gather his courage and confess.  
  
Woohyun thinks he still has one year to decide, but he’s wrong about that.  
  
It was just the beginning of his worries.  
  
Woohyun’s father lands in the hospital shortly before the school years ends. His liver failed him and now he needs a new one. The operation costs a lot of money though, which they don’t have. It results in his mother working even more, but the real hit comes a few days later when she asks him to sit down at the table with her.  
  
“Woohyun, do you like school?”  
  
He blinks. “Yes! It’s fun.”  
  
She seems a bit disappointed about his answer and the boy shortly wonders why. Shouldn’t his mother be proud of him? “So you wouldn’t like…maybe taking a break for a year?”  
  
“A year? But our school break isn’t that long.”  
  
His mother leans over the table to grab his little hands between hers. The skin is rough and dry from all the hard work, but the touch is soft. “You know that your father needs a new liver, right?”  
  
He looks at her and nods. She smiles weakly. “And it costs a lot of money. I calculated and I won’t have enough money as fast as he needs it. We only have one option left and believe me, honey, I wouldn’t do this to you if there were any other way.”  
  
Woohyun frowns. Panic starts to spread in his guts. “What did you do, mom?”  
  
“It’s just for one year. It’s for your father.” She looks at him with teary eyes and squeezes his hands when he tries to break free.  
  
He feels tears welling up in his own eyes. “You made me drop out of school?!”  
  
“I’ve already talked about it with your homeroom teacher. You are excused for a year and-“  
  
Woohyun rips his hands free and jumps from the chair. “No! I don’t want to take a break! What about my friends? What am I supposed to do for a whole year?”  
  
She stands up and walks over to him, but Woohyun slaps her hand away. “Honey, please, do you want your father to die?”  
  
“WHY SHOULD I SUFFER FOR HIM? He was practically dead all along! He can do us a favor and die!” He shouts and stomps his feet.  
  
His mother slaps him hard and Woohyun stumbles to the side. He puts a hand to his burning cheek and lets the tears fall free. “Don’t say things like that, Woohyun! He’s your father!”  
  
“He’s a waste of money!” He retorts and now his mother is crying too.  
  
“Go to your room, Woohyun. We will talk about this when you’ve calmed down.” She turns around and starts walking away.  
  
The boy stands up and grabs items close to him. He throws them to the ground without caring if they get smashed. He hates his mother for deciding this for him. He hates his father for eating up all of their money. He hates himself for being a coward.  
  
Now he’ll never see Sunggyu again. **  
  


 

  
  
**A** week passes like a dream.  Woohyun is busy with working and his college classes, but the time in between is filled with reminiscing about the past. Sunggyu’s smell is everywhere and the Givenchy bag in the corner of his room seems to taunt him every day. He doesn’t meet the older man again. Ailee had returned on Tuesday for her shift, which left him to stay in the back of the bakery for the rest of the week. She never mentioned any pink-haired guys and Woohyun is left in his own world. He isn’t sure if he even wants to meet the older man again. Does Sunggyu still remember him? He doubts it since their only meeting was short – and probably important to him.  
  
He goes out clubbing like every weekend, but Woohyun has set a goal for himself: he has to forget about their meeting. The man clothes himself in the best designer items he can find and only when he’s fully-clothed Woohyun is satisfied. He checks himself in the mirror. _I have to be careful today. I don’t want another pair ruined like last time._  
  
He has already skipped a lot of meals under the week, so that he will enough on the weekend. The problem of the stained pair of pants is still on his mind. He needs new clothes soon anyways, since he can’t walk around in the same clothes for months. Woohyun rubs his forehead. He has a terrible headache, but he can’t skip the clubbing. It would hurt his reputation and he really needs to forget about Sunggyu. He’s positive that it won’t be hard to do so in the crowd.  
  
The man enters another club than last time. It’s a bit smaller but still one of the most expensive places in Seoul – if you’re not a celebrity that is. Woohyun is being welcomed with open arms. Everyone knows his face already. He baths in the cheers, enjoy the little slaps on the shoulder and takes in their buttlicking with a smile. This is his home, this is what he needs - _this_ is who Nam Woohyun is now. He is no longer a weak kid without options.  
  
 “A shot for everyone.” He tells the barkeeper and the people around him cheer.  
  
A girl pecks his cheek and Woohyun slaps her butt in return. He takes a shot himself and soon one becomes two and more. He just nods when someone asks him for a drink and soon his world is a blur of loud music and bitter alcohol. Maybe there are even drugs involved, but he is too tired and busy to care.  Woohyun is being dragged to the dance floor and he lets himself fall back into the familiar game. Someone gropes his butt and breathes on his neck, but he doesn’t care and just leans his head back to give the stranger more skin to attack. There is another pair of hands sliding under his shirt while hips grind against hips. Woohyun grabs the person in front of him rather roughly and presses their lips together in need. The three of them dance too close, too dangerous – it’s not even dancing anymore, just shameless making out. Although he doesn’t know those two, he feels safe right there between them. He can’t fall over this way and his mind tells him that all of those touches and kisses are out of love.  
  
The picture of Sunggyu enters his mind and Woohyun gasps. He pushes the girl away and makes a quick retreat to the bar. He feels his erection throbbing in his pants, screaming at him to get back on the floor to finish the business, but Woohyun just can’t – not with Sunggyu in his mind. He feels dirty inside for touching those people and letting them do the same to him. How can he even think of the other man when he has no right to ever touch him? Woohyun would just taint him with his hands. _You are dirty. Even with all this you are still dirty, Nam Woohyun. You’re the dirt people walk on. Did you forget that?_  
  
He gulps down a glass of tequila. It feels like his head is going to explode soon and Woohyun has problems keeping himself up his feet. _I’m not dirt…. I have money. No one walks over me…_  
  
A body presses against his from behind and hands crawl up his stomach. Woohyun wants to vomit on the spot. “Let’s continue where we’ve stopped. I know you want it.”  
  
“I’m not in the mood.” He slurs out and pushes him away weakly.  
  
Woohyun stumbles to the side and the man catches him with a chuckle. “Oh come on. That’s what you’re here for, right? You’re not throwing your money around just for the fun after all. I’ll make you feel good.”  
  
He hisses and throws a punch at the guy. Woohyun swear he can hear his nose break and his blurry mind registers a trail of blood along the guy’s face. “Shit! Are you insane, slut?”  
  
“I’m no slut! A slut wouldn’t have so much money!” He retorts with a short laugh and staggers towards the exit. He has problems finding it because a security guy is by his side a moment later and is friendly enough to show him the exit – by throwing him out of the backdoor.  
  
Woohyun stumbles into the dark alley and knocks against a wall. He starts laughing again and slides down to the ground. He doesn’t even know what is so funny. He should probably care about his clothes getting dirty, but his body is too tired and his mind is too full with pain. “I’m no slut!”  
  
He groans and closes his eyes. The headache doesn’t disappear and the strange feeling in his gut also stays. “This jacket is…Rick Owens!”  
  
Woohyun tries to stand up but he just falls down again – with his knees into a puddle. “Fuck…these are Saint Laurent! DO YOU HEAR ME?”  
  
He whines and makes another try, this time taking the wall as support. “Givenchy…ANYONE CAN BUY THAT.”  
  
The man doesn’t know why he is creaming or at who, but he figures a drunk doesn’t need a reason. “DO YOU HEAR ME?”  
  
“The whole block hears you, geez.” A voice speaks to him and Woohyun tries to make out the origin.  
  
The smell of vanilla surrounds him like a motherly hug. “I’m not talking to a hallucination...”  
  
He vomits out of nowhere and then his world goes black. _Why are you here now? It’s too late._  
  
  


  
**W** hen Woohyun wakes up, there is something warm and squishy in his arms. Everything is warm in general – something he is not used to. His sleepy mind doesn’t care though. He pulls the source of warmth closer and slides a leg around it. He turns his head a bit, his nose meeting with a mob of hair – soft and nice smelling. The scent is nostalgic and hypnotizing. Woohyun is about to fall back into a deep slumber when the thing inside his arms lets out a scream.  
  
An elbow hits his stomach and then two hands push him out of the bed. He hits the ground with a yelp and his eyes snap open. Woohyun immediately squeezes them close again though since the brightness pierces his mind like a knife. “How dare you sneak into my bed, you damn pervert?!”  
  
A pillow hits him in the face, but Woohyun keeps it to shield his eyes from the sunlight. He squints and looks at the figure on the bed. _Oh shit._ “I knew I should’ve left you in that alley! Damn pervert! Get out! Before I call the police, get out!”  
  
Woohyun stares at him – at Kim Sunggyu. His black hair is all over the place and he isn’t wearing any glasses, but this is without fail him. He swore himself to forget him – heck, that’s why he drank so much – how did he end up in his bedroom? He wanted to forget about meeting them, but fate had taken his resolutions and thrown them over a cliff.  
  
“What are you staring at?” Sunggyu grabs the blanket to cover himself – which was ridiculous in a way because he was wearing a shirt and boxers – but Woohyun is more fascinated by the cute blush on his cheeks.  
  
He knows he shouldn’t stare. He shouldn’t find it cute. He shouldn’t be feeling like this again.  
  
Sunggyu shouldn’t see him like this.  
  
“I…I…” Woohyun starts but finds himself unable to form a right sentence. He licks his lips nervously. “Thank you.”  
  
The black-haired man looks down to him with a frown. Then he’s even pouting. Woohyun curses inwardly. “Seems like you do have some manners, but you still have to leave.”  
  
Woohyun stands up and looks for his clothes, but he can’t see them. “The room next to this one if you can’t remember.”  
  
He attempts a shy smile and shuffles out of the room. _Fuck! Fuck my luck!_ Woohyun walks in the other room and finds his clothes neatly folded on a chair. His cheeks grow warm when he thinks about the fact that Sunggyu had probably taken them off him. He puts them on and wrinkles his nose because they smell like alcohol and cigarettes. He really needs to wash them soon.  
  
The man quickly slips into his clothes and then even spots a glass of water and a pill on the little table next to the bed. He smiles sadly. _Sunggyu is still as nice as before. No wonder that rich guy is trying to woo him._ He feels a pain in his chest when he remembers Yongguk. Are they a couple already? Does Sunggyu have feelings for Yongguk?  
  
Woohyun hits his head. “Stop thinking about it!”  
  
He swallows the pill with the water and walks out of the guestroom. He looks around indecisively and peeks into Sunggyu’s bedroom, but the man is not inside it anymore. Woohyun hears noises from another direction and decides to go there. The apartment is not exactly big, but the guestroom is about the size of his living room slash kitchen slash bedroom. The place looks cozy and warm. There is this feeling of a home that Woohyun’s apartment is totally missing. Sunggyu has pictures on the wall and other little decorations that fill the rooms with love.  
  
At the corner of his mind he wonders why Sunggyu is not living in a big mansion with butlers and maids or just in an expensive apartment. He doesn’t spot even one family picture.  
  
The black-haired man is in the kitchen and has his back turned to Woohyun, when he enters it. He observes Sunggyu quietly like he used to do in the past. He is taller than before – probably a tiny bit taller than Woohyun – but he has definitely lost some weight. It seems like the perfect height for Woohyun to put his head on Sunggyu’s shoulder and then breathe in the sweet vanilla scent. His arms and legs are skinny, but not the unhealthy kind of skinny. The skin looks smooth and pale, tempting Woohyun to touch it with his fingers and mark it with his teeth. He remembers Sunggyu’s hair as light-brown, but now it seems black. It’s a bit shorter than before but definitely long enough to let one’s fingers run through it.  
  
Sunggyu suddenly turns around and yelps in surprise. “God, you scared me! How long have you been standing there?”  
  
The older man puts a hand over his heart and glares at him. “Didn’t I tell you to leave?”  
  
Woohyun can’t help but smile. “Yes, you did. I wasn’t in my right mind yesterday and I wanted to apologize for scaring you. I’m really sorry and thank you for letting me stay here.”  
  
Sunggyu looks surprised for a moment. “You’re welcome, but you should leave nevertheless.”  
  
“Right…” He feels a little disappointed because the older man doesn’t seem to recognize him. That is what he wants, but a small part of him wishes to be someone of importance to Sunggyu. “Sorry again.”  
  
He turns to leave but just then his stomach growls. Woohyun curses quietly, but stops in his step when he hears a soft giggle behind him. “Aish, I really am too nice. Do you want to eat something?”  
  
Woohyun turns his head. “I don’t want to be a bother…”  
  
The black-haired man smiles and points at the dining table. “Sit down. I can’t offer you much though.”  
  
A moment later there are two cups of coffee on the table, a basket with some slices of toast and a variety of toppings like cheese or marmalade. It’s more food than Woohyun has probably eaten all week. “Is this really okay? I mean I…”  
  
Sunggyu waves his hand and smiles. “Just eat before I change my mind. My friends always tell me I have too much of a good heart. I trust people too easily. They call it the ‘Mother Teresa Syndrome’ –“  
  
A nervous laugh. “Why am I even telling you that?”  
  
The older man averts his gaze and spreads butter on his toast. Woohyun finds his blabbering adorable, but he keeps it to himself. “I’ll take advantage of your kindness then.”  
  
They eat in silence for a while. Woohyun sneaks a look at the other from time to time. He knows that he gets lost more in more in his old feelings with every look. Sunggyu’s facial structure is clearer defined than before, but he still has these cute cheeks and the way his eyes disappear when he smiles is still the same. He wants to follow every curve of his face with his fingertip, maybe smear some marmalade on the flawless skin and lick it off, but he manages to control himself.  
  
“Ah! Now I remember where I’ve seen you before!” Sunggyu suddenly exclaims and the younger man freezes in his seat.  
  
He chokes on the piece of bread in his mouth and looks at him anxiously. “R-Really?”  
  
“You’re that waiter from Honeytree!”  
  
Woohyun feels a stone drop from his shoulders and he rubs the back of his neck. “You got me.”  
  
Sunggyu stares at him with a frown and Woohyun shifts nervously. He wonders what’s wrong and thinks about standing up, but then the other man finally speaks. “Maybe Dongwoo was right. Now that I look at you, you don’t really need that scarf.”  
  
“What do you mean?” He asks in confusion and Sunggyu shrugs.  
  
“When I saw you in the bakery, you seemed like you needed it more than me, but you’re dressed up in brand clothes now. I didn’t know you make that much money as a baker.”  
  
“Oh…that was…I was just helping out my aunt. I don’t really _work_ , just, you know...” Lies.  
  
Woohyun would like to slap himself the same moment he says those words, but now he can’t take them back. He doesn’t know why he wants to make himself seem like something he isn’t. Maybe he wants to be an equal in Sunggyu’s eyes. He is used to telling people he is rich or other lies to earn their respect, but for some reasons it feels worse to lie to the black-haired man.  
  
“Ah…I see. Your parents paid for it?” Sunggyu asks him, but there is not much interest in his voice. It even sounds a little disappointed.  
  
“Yeah.” Another lie. A nervous laugh. Woohyun can’t read that expression on the older man’s face, but he doesn’t seem pleased with his answer. “Do you want the scarf back? I-“  
  
“No. I don’t need it. You can keep it.” Sunggyu cuts in and then averts his gaze. He starts eating again and Woohyun bites his lower lip.  
  
“Wasn’t it a present from your boyfriend?”  
  
The other man blushes. “W-What? No! He’s just…a friend.”  
  
He can barely hide his relief over the news. Woohyun knows he shouldn’t even feel that happy about it. He has no chance on dating Sunggyu if that guy with all his money can’t even succeed. “I see…but the bag must’ve been really expensive.”  
  
“That’s why I didn’t accept it. You’re pretty curious, uhm,…?”  
  
“Woohyun. Nam Woohyun.” He answers and reaches out his hand.  
  
Sunggyu takes it and shakes it slightly. His hand is soft and slender. Woohyun wants to hold it in his forever, which makes him hold on a little longer than necessary and the older man clears his throat. He retracts his hand and gives him an apologetic smile.  
  
“I’m Kim Sunggyu, nice to meet you again I guess.” Sunggyu gives him that beautiful eyesmile he has loved since middle school and Woohyun’s heart clenches. _I know who you are._  
  
“You seem to be okay when you’re not drunk.” The older man comments and continues to eat.  
  
“I’m not usually that wasted.” He replies. Why did he have to embarrass himself in front of Sunggyu of all people?  
  
The black-haired man hums in return as he is busy chewing his food.  Woohyun spots some marmalade next to his lips and without thinking about it, he leans over the table and wipes it away with his thumb. Sunggyu stares at him with wide eyes and Woohyun licks the sweet marmalade from his thumb. He enjoys the blush that finds its way onto Sunggyu’s lovely cheeks.  
  
The older man averts his gaze again. “Why did you do that?”  
  
“I couldn’t help it. You were too cute.” Woohyun answers immediately. _No! Why can’t I control my mouth!_  
  
He knows he shouldn’t get close to Sunggyu, but gravity seems to pull him closer to the older man’s orbit again and again. He wants to be close to him, wants to touch him more. He wants to be the only one Sunggyu looks at.  Woohyun wants to be the center of his universe, just like Sunggyu is his.  
  
The blush deepens on the other man’s face and he stands up. “M-Maybe you should leave. You’ve eaten enough, right?”  
  
Woohyun stands up too. He curses inwardly because he has destroyed the nice atmosphere between them. “I’m sorry if I offended you.”  
  
“It’s okay I’m just not…used to _this_ and your parents must be worried too.”  
  
He feels a pang of guilt in his chest at his words. _Why did you use that lie?! You huge idiot!_ “I …Would you let me treat you to a drink or something? I mean non-alcoholic, just, you know…as a thanks for helping me.”  
  
 _Say no. Say no._ Sunggyu seems speechless for a moment. “I don’t know why I say this-“  
  
 _Then don’t!_ The older man smiles. “Sure, but I’m choosing the place. I don’t want you to drag me to some expensive local.”  
  
 _Not expensive. Totally fine by me._ “A-Are you sure?”  
  
Sunggyu narrows his eyes at him. “If you keep asking, I’m going to say no.”  
  
Woohyun laughs awkwardly. “So, can I get your number?”  
  
“No.” The black-haired man walks over to the counter and Woohyun hears him scribbling on something. “Are you free next Saturday?”  
  
“Y-Yeah.” He never has anything but clubbing to do on the weekends, except for maybe additional jobs to gather money, but he will make space for Sunggyu.  
  
The other man turns around again and hands him a little note. There’s an address written on it and a time. “Be on time. I won’t wait for you.”  
  
“I will!” _Maybe for a while this is fine – just being close to him._ “I won’t disappoint your trust.”  
  
It’s weird to talk about trust when he is lying right into Sunggyu’s face, but even if it’s just for a while until the bubbles pops, he wants to do the things he never had the chance to in middle school. Like going on a date with Sunggyu, holding his hand or maybe even kiss him.  
  
This time he wants to confess for real.  
  
  
  
 **I** t’s the longest week of Woohyun’s life. He can barely concentrate on his work or his studies, because the vanilla boy is preoccupying his every thought. He feels himself falling for Sunggyu again, deep and fast. He stays up all night thinking about ways to court him. Woohyun knows he has to be better than Yongguk if he wants to win. Sunggyu is rich and Yongguk seems rich, while Woohyun is just a poor man trying to act rich. He doesn’t fit into their world, but he yearns for it nevertheless.  
  
Saturday starts off bad for him. It’s raining like crazy and Woohyun doesn’t have an umbrella. He looks at the expensive clothes he is wearing and back to the dirty window. He can hear the rain drumming against it.  Woohyun bites his lower lip. He doesn’t have Sunggyu’s number to call him, which leaves only one option for him: running through the rain. He has already stood up Sunggyu once. The man won’t do it again and risk losing the second chance he had been given.  
  
Woohyun opened the front door and dashed out into the rain – towards Sunggyu.  
  
Just like before.

  
  
  
**H** **is mother doesn’t change her opinion. The air between them is cold and tense ever since the argument. Woohyun knows he should find his father’s survival more important, but that man has never acted like a parent to him. He has only known him as the unmoving drunkard who doesn’t care about anything. He can’t understand why his future is less important than _him_. He’s of no use to anyone while Woohyun belongs to the generation that will build the future.**  
  
 **The operation gets scheduled as soon as she has the money ready and his father gets moved to the top of the list of people that are in need for a liver. Woohyun locks himself in his room while his mother keeps visiting her husband in the hospital. The boy keeps reading books and listening to music, doing all kind of things to keep his mind off his crush. Sunggyu will probably not even notice that he is gone. His life will go one like before, while Woohyun suffers from a broken heart.**  
  
 **After a few weeks of isolation, he forms a plan to confess to Sunggyu. Woohyun writes him a love letter. It’s cheap and old-school, but he doesn’t dare to ask him directly. He waits for the older boy in front of the school gate for hours because he doesn’t know when Sunggyu’s schedule is over. He doesn’t mind the extra time though. He walks up and down the pavement while he waits. Some students give him strange looks when they are leaving. Woohyun even meets his friends again who hug him and ask him where the hell he has been all this time. He gives them a sad smile and tells them about his mother’s decision, though he keeps his thoughts towards his father for himself. They don’t know what kind of man he is and he doesn’t want them to know.**  
  
 **The wait is agonizing, but when Sunggyu finally steps out of the school gates he is alone and Woohyun thanks the heaven for this. He wouldn’t have the courage to hand the older boy the letter in front of his friends. Woohyun slaps his cheek lightly and hurries over to Sunggyu with trembling fingers. It’s his first confession and he wants it to be his last too. He does not trip or anything else embarrassing, but he almost runs into the older boy because of his speed.**  
  
 **“ Wow there!” Sunggyu calls out in surprise.**  
  
 **“S-Sunggyu- sunbaenim!” Woohyun stumbles. “Take this!”**  
  
 **He presses the letter into his hands and the next second he runs away. Sunggyu calls after him but Woohyun is busy running away with a red face. _I did it! I did it!_ Now the only thing left to do is hoping that the other boy won’t throw it away and that he will come to the meeting point.  Woohyun is grinning when he’s home. He can do this! He can even get over repeating a school year if he has Sunggyu by his side.**  
  
 **There was no way money could separate them, he thought.**   
  
  


  
  
** The day of his confession arrives. Woohyun is nervous as hell. He hasn’t slept a wink that night. He kept playing scenarios in his head – ranging from sweet endings where he succeeds to Sunggyu rejecting him for being a disgusting fag. He fishes out the best clothes he has. There are no brand names like the stuff rich boys wear, but that doesn’t lower his confidence. He won’t lose to anyone when it comes to his love for Sunggyu and that is the most important in his eyes.  
  
He steps out of his room and runs towards the front door to put on his shoes. Woohyun puts on his coat as well and grabs an umbrella.  
  
“Woohyun, where are you going?” His mother asks. “Come here please.”  
  
The boy curses and walks over to the living room where she is sitting. “What?”  
  
She sighs. “It’s raining like crazy. Where are you going?”  
  
“Just going out with a friend, you know those people who I _used_ to go to school with.” He retorts with bitterness in his voice.  
  
His mother looks hurt for a moment. She opens her mouth to  speak but the phone rings. “Don’t you dare leave, we are not done yet.”  
  
He rolls his eyes as she answers the phone. “Yes?....W-What?...I don’t understand…Didn’t you say he is on top of the list? Why is he getting pushed back now?...You know he needs it as fast as possible!...Who is it? Who took his spot?!...How much did he pay you?! You promised me, Dr. Kang!...I won’t calm down! I’m coming to the hospital right now!”  
  
She hangs up and jumps out of her seat. Woohyun looks at her questioningly. “What happened?”  
  
“Someone stole your dad’s spot for the liver transplant. I won’t accept this. We’re going to the hospital, Woohyun.” His mother walks past him to grab her things.  
  
Woohyun shakes his head. “I’m not going with you! I have my own plans.”  
  
She turns around and glares at him. “Woohyun! He’s your father!”  
  
“He’s not my father! He can die all I care!” He bursts out and storms out of the door.  
  
His mother calls after him, but the boy doesn’t stop. He just opens the umbrella to at least protect himself from most of the rain. _I don’t care about him! Sunggyu is more important than that lazy guy!_ Woohyun races down the streets towards their meeting point. He‘s already late and he won’t miss this chance because of his so-called father.  
  
Woohyun can already see the café he asked Sunggyu to wait at. He’s glad he didn’t choose a park or something else open as the meeting point, because the rain would’ve ruined that. The boy is so concentrated that he doesn’t notice the guys waiting for him in one of the alleys. Hands suddenly grab him by the arm and yank him into the alley. Woohyun gasps and drops the umbrella in surprise. He looks up and finds himself surrounded by five guys. He recognizes some faces from his middle school. They are part of the rich clique – the bad one.  
  
“He really came.” One of them says and the others laugh. Woohyun tries to leave but hands push him back into the darkness.  
  
“What do you want?!” He shouts out in anger.  
  
“We saw you handing that letter over to Kim. Didn’t take us long to guess what that might have been.” The other guys make ‘oooooh’ sounds and Woohyun glares at them.  
  
“You always looked kind of gay.”  
  
He huffs. “What’s it to you? I won’t be hurt by your stupid comments if that’s your goal.”  
  
“Who cares if you like it up the ass or not? You are targeting someone out of your range, Nam. We are just here to spare you hearing the rejection and to save Kim from a trauma. He’s not into poor little beggars like you.”  
  
“Why don’t you let him speak for yourself? He’s different from you! Sunggyu doesn’t care about money!” He retorts and suddenly a fist hits him in the face.  
  
Woohyun stumbles backwards and coughs. “Where’s your respect towards your seniors, you useless piece of shit? Get him, boys.”  
  
The bullies attack him all together, but Woohyun doesn’t give in so easily. He fights back, punches and kicks, bites and scratches, but there are five against one and he eventually goes to the ground. They kick him into the ribs and the stomach. One of them punches his face and Woohyun coughs out blood. He tries to free himself but he stands no chance.  
  
“This is the power of money, Nam. We could beat you to death and no one would care. Our parents will just get us the right lawyers and no one will talk about your sorry life anymore. Sunggyu is one of us and you are not welcome in our circle. Do you know why? Because you’re a cockroach! Just something we step on.”  
  
They leave him in the alley, beaten and broken. Woohyun sees the light from the café on the other side of the street. He groans in pain and tries to stand up, but his body is not listening. A tear slides down his cheek, but he barely notices it between all the raindrops falling down on him. His clothes are soaked with water and blood, but the worst pain is still in his heart. He knows that Sunggyu is different from them. He _knows_. But there are people thinking differently. They live in different worlds and Woohyun doesn’t seem to be able to enter Sunggyu’s.  
  
He hits the wet ground with his fist. _Damn it!_  
  
It takes him a while before he manages to stand up.  Woohyun clenches his teeth at the pain in his abdomen. There’s a piercing pain in his right knee when he tries to walk, but he slowly limps out of the alley. He leans against a lamppost for support and glances over to the café. He can see Sunggyu from his spot, looking all perfect as usual. Sunggyu is where the light is, while Woohyun is standing in the dark. Woohyun cries silently in the rain. The older boy doesn’t look into his direction, but Woohyun can see that he is staring at his clock. He is waiting for him, but Woohyun can’t find the strength to walk over there and talk to him. Sunggyu deserves better than a guy like him. He is a nobody, a beggar, someone with little status.  
  
A lady approaches him and asks him if he’s hurt. He doesn’t answer and just stares at the café window. She calls an ambulance immediately when she sees the blood. **   
  
  


 

 

  
  
** Woohyun wakes up in the hospital, which tells him that he must have lost consciousness on the street. He’s lying in a bed and his mother is sitting next to it. “So this was more important than your father? Getting beaten up?”  
  
He tries to sit up and hisses in pain. He’s bandaged all over and his body hurts like hell. “No! _This_ was certainly not my plan!”  
  
The boy knows it isn’t his mother’s fault, but that question just hit him right where it hurts. She sighs and Woohyun  looks at her for the first time since he woke up. Her eyes are red and swollen, obviously from crying. Woohyun can see the dried tears on her cheeks. “I-I’m sorry…”  
  
“It’s too late for that, Woohyun. You probably won’t care but your father died last night, shortly before you were brought here by the ambulance. We told him the news about the transplant and…I guess he…he just gave up trying-“  
  
Her voice breaks and she puts her face into her hands. Her shoulders tremble as sobs leave her mouth. “He was already sad enough because his only son isn’t bothering to pay him a visit. Are you happy now? He’s gone, Woohyun!”  
  
He stares at her in shock. Tears roll down his cheek against his will. Woohyun lets out a cry and buries his face in the pillow. He doesn’t understand why it hurts so much to know that his father is gone. He had just said hours ago that it was okay if he died. He has said he doesn’t care, that he’s not his father, but now he can’t stop crying. Woohyun wonders if the beating incident was his punishment for leaving his father and even telling him to die.  
  
“He should’ve gotten the next transplant since he needs it desperately. But someone else was suddenly moved to the top of the list today. Do you know what the doctor said? That the other guy could’ve survived a few more months without it. Someone must’ve paid a lot to steal your father’s transplant.” His mother says quietly and Woohyun just cries harder.  
  
  
  
He wonders who said that shit: You don’t need money to be happy.  
  
  
  
He was probably rich and never suffered like Woohyun or other people. **


	3. Third Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluffy woogyu times!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like always comments are welcome, stealing is not wanted!

**H** is clothes are drenched by the name he reaches the address Sunggyu gave him. He yanks the door to the small café open. The ground below his feet is immediately swimming and Woohyun feels people staring in his direction. He doesn’t pay them much attention though. His eyes are looking for Sunggyu anxiously. A tissue suddenly touches his cheek and Woohyun turns his head. The older man is standing right next to him, trying to dry him somehow.  
  
“Are you an idiot? Don’t you have an umbrella somewhere in your wardrobe?” The black-haired man scolds him.  
  
Woohyun wants to hug him, but Sunggyu is so wonderfully dry and he doesn’t want to make him sick. He wants to say something but he notices his lips are trembling too strongly. His whole body is shaking from the cold. A worker steps closer and hands Sunggyu a towel. “Thank you.”  
  
The older man pulls him to the side. “Let’s try to get you dry. What were you thinking?”  
  
Sunggyu puts the towel on his head and starts rubbing his hair dry.  “I…I didn’t have your number.”  
  
“That’s not reason enough to leave your house without an umbrella. Your clothes are ruined too!”  
  
Woohyun knows he should be furious about his clothes. They won’t be the same even if he dries them, but strangely enough he feels okay with it. Maybe because Sunggyu is so close that he could make their lips touch by leaning forward. Maybe because Sunggyu is looking at him with so much care that he forgets how much money is on his skin right now.  
  
“Y-You s-said you won’t wait.” It’s hard to talk with chattering teeth.  
  
Sunggyu flicks his forehead and Woohyun flinches. The older man shows him a pout. “I know what I said! Aish…what am I supposed to do with you?”  
  
The younger man stays silent and just lets him dry his hair. He just uses the time to study Sunggyu’s perfect features. He is wearing the glasses again that make him look even cuter. The waiter returns with a bigger towel which he hangs around Woohyun’s shoulders. He looks like he would rather throw him out than help him – well, he _is_ spreading a huge puddle of water on the floor – but for some reasons he doesn’t.  
  
“Thanks, Sungjong.” Sunggyu says and it clicks in Woohyun’s mind. _They know each other._  
  
“Does this café belong to you?” He asks and the black-haired man gives him a confused look.  
  
“Me?” He laughs. “How did you get that idea? I don’t have the money to buy this shop.”  
  
 _But your family is rich. You are rich._ Sunggyu lets go off the towel and leads him over to a table at the back. “We are roommates and colleagues. You slept in his room last time.”  
  
 _Oh. Oh! No wonder that waiter seemed kind of mad at him for more than one reason. Wait- colleagues?_ “You are working here?”  
  
He stares at Sunggyu with wide eyes and the older man laughed shortly. “I didn’t mean to trick you. It’s just the place where I’m most comfortable.”  
  
He wants to ask Sunggyu why he’s working at a café. _Why are you living in such a ‘normal’ apartment? Why are there no pictures of your family?_ So many whys but he doesn’t ask out loud. In theory, he shouldn’t know about Sunggyu being from a rich family. He hasn’t said it himself yet.  
  
“It’s fine.” Woohyun mumbles absent-mindedly.  
  
Sungjong brings them two hot chocolates to the table and Sunggyu thanks him. The waiter only rolls his eyes and gives Woohyun a glare before walking away. “He doesn’t like me, does he?”  
  
The black-haired man chuckles. “He thinks you’re taking advantage of me.”  
  
Woohyun blinks. “How so?”  
  
Sunggyu grabs his cup and turns it between his fingers. “I had a lot of people following me around for the wrong reasons in the past. You’ve probably heard of Kim Corp., right?”  
  
“Y-Yeah. Do your parents own it?”  
  
The other man suddenly laughed. “Used to own it – past tense. You didn’t check the news much the last few years, huh?”  
  
Indeed he didn’t. Woohyun doesn’t own a TV or radio and he has never bothered to check any news besides celebrity gossip. “I was a little busy. Sorry, I didn’t want to touch any painful spots.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Sunggyu shrugs. “It’s all in the past. The company went bankrupt and my parents…they didn’t handle the loss well. How important do you think money is, Woohyun? Do we need it to be happy?”  
  
“Yes.” He blurts out without thinking.  
  
The black-haired man takes a sip from his chocolate. “Why?”  
  
“Because we need it for things like food or a home or transportation or-“  
  
“Wait, let me rephrase my question: Do you think you need a lot of money to be happy?”  
  
“Well…the more money, the better your house is and everything else. You can travel anywhere you want and-“  
  
“And that’s happiness?” Sunggyu folds his arms and Woohyun gulps because he seems to be on the wrong path.  
  
There was a time when he thought otherwise, but life has taught him that you won’t be able to obtain anything without money. People won’t respect you when you have no money. People with more money will trample over you whenever they can.  
  
“I see…my parents thought the same.” Sunggyu says and Woohyun notices that he took too long to answer his question.  
  
He looks at the older man and notices him staring at the bottom of his cup with a sad gaze. Woohyun wants to reach out for him, but he holds back. He’s afraid of asking what happened to Sunggyu’s parents.  “So you think otherwise?”  
  
“I never cared much about my parents’ money, though even until today people try to get close to me, because they think I inherited tons of many when they died. But their suicide just told me what I already knew: A lot of money doesn’t equal happiness. I think it’s like a drug. The more money you have, the better you might feel at that time, but when you lose it all, you’ll suddenly be lost. You can’t remember what it was like without much money, how you survived, it becomes too much. There are tons of people surviving in this world with little to no money at all. I know not all of them are happy, there are some things we can only buy with money – like medicine or a bed to sleep – but shouldn’t people with a lot of money help those in need?”  
  
Woohyun stares at him. _Suicide?_ “Sorry if I’m talking too much. You probably don’t care.”  
  
“What? No! It’s just a lot to take in. I don’t think you’re wrong. It sounds very noble.”  
  
“But?” Sunggyu smiles at him, though his eyes show a hidden sadness.  
  
“Isn’t that just idealistic?”  
  
“What more is happiness than an ideal set by society?”  
  
Woohyun tilts his head to the side. “Society defines happiness as how much we own and how much can we buy, but there is more. I’ve lived without much money ever since my parents’ death and I’m happy enough. I donated all of the money I inherited to an orphanage. I didn’t want something that caused them to leave this world.”  
  
“What about those people without a job? I’m sure any homeless person would laugh at your words.”  
  
Sunggyu shrugs. “I give them what little I can give away. Have you ever helped out at a shelter? Probably not. Those people need nothing more than a bowl full of warm soup to be happy. There are not many people who think like me and I don’t force those who disagree to think my way. In the end, everyone has their own definition of happiness.”  
  
Silence engulfs them. Woohyun tries to process Sunggyu’s words. It’s seems unrealistic, naïve and idealistic, but his words sound sincere. He can see in the other man’s eyes that he means those words. He really believes in this type of unmaterialistic happiness. Woohyun wants to believe in it to, but he’s afraid of being disappointed once again. He wonders if he should tell Sunggyu the truth about him. Would the black-haired man understand him or be mad at the lies?  
  
“This was probably not what you had in mind, when you invited me for a drink. Are you disappointed?”  
  
The younger man shakes his head and manages a smile. “No, not at all. I was just deep in thought. I’ll probably have to think about your words for a while to let them sink in. But I’m not disappointed at all. You’re a wonderful person.”  
  
He spots a slight blush on Sunggyu’s cheeks and his smile seems a bit more cheerful than before. “I hope you’re not just saying that to get into my pants.”  
  
“No! But I would love to get your number.” Woohyun rubs the back of his neck shyly.  
  
“Okay.” Sunggyu takes out his phone. “Tell me your number. I’ll call you.”  
  
Woohyun smiles widely and quickly tells him his number. He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and quickly checks it. He names the new contact “ _My hamster_ ” and chuckles quietly. The other man scans his face. “What are you laughing at?”  
  
“Nothing!” He replies and quickly snaps a picture of Sunggyu with the cup at his lips. It looks cute and Woohyun can’t stop grinning.  
  
He hears another shutter click and looks up to see the older man taking a picture of him with his phone. Their eyes meet and they laugh. Woohyun wishes he could freeze the moment right there. He knows that he _is_ happy and there certainly is no money involved.  
  
“What did you name me?”  
  
Sunggyu sticks out his tongue. “That’s a secret.”  
  
It seems like magic that they click together so perfectly like this. It’s like they are two old friends who have known each other for forever and Woohyun can hardly believe how easy it is to get lost in the flow. Sunggyu is still as amazing as before. He wants to keep him by his side forever, make him his, bath him in all the happiness the world has to offer.  
  
If only it were this easy.  
  
“Sunggyu.”  
  
They turn their heads towards the door and Woohyun lets out a displeased groan. Yongguk is there again, as sudden as last time. Their eyes meet for a moment and they exchange short glares. Sunggyu lets out a sigh as the younger man steps closer. “Yongguk. Please stop doing this.”  
  
“I was just walking by-“  
  
Woohyun sends him another glare. “Is he stalking you, Sunggyu?”  
  
He knows he is being overprotective and it’s not even his place to act as the black-haired man’s guardian, but his instincts urge him to protect the man he loves. The older man looks back to him. “No, it’s fine, Woohyun.”  
  
“Who is that dwarf?” Yongguk asks as he steps closer with a scowl.  
  
Woohyun stands up. “You are not that much taller!”  
  
“Guys, please don’t fight in here.” Sunggyu interrupts them before their argument can escalate. “He’s a friend, Yongguk. Now tell me why you are here again. I don’t need another expensive present.”  
  
“I know that, but it’s different this time.” He smiles triumphantly and steps past Woohyun. Yongguk takes something out from behind his back and Woohyun’s eyes widen slightly as he sees the colorful bouquet of flowers. “I picked them myself for you in the garden. I thought you might be at work, so I came here to give them to you.”  
  
He wants to think that Yongguk is lying but his smile is genuine and there is a bit of dirt on his hands, hinting that he might have gotten those flowers himself. There’s no fancy wrapping and the bouquet looks so helplessly unorganized that it can’t be from a professional florist. Sunggyu seems to notice that too and Woohyun feels a sting in his chest as the older man smiles widely. He takes the flowers from Yongguk’s hands and moves them close to his nose to take in the sweet scent.  
  
“They smell wonderful. Thank you, Yongguk.”  
  
Yongguk beams happily and Woohyun finds it irritating how honestly in love the other man looks. It pisses him off somehow, because it makes the man so likable. He seems honest with his feelings for Sunggyu. He looks big and scary at first, but he is more of a softie at heart it seems. Woohyun finds it unfair how this guy can be rich and yet nice as well. How can he be so perfect, while he is just a poor, lying bastard?  
  
“And I wanted to ask you something too. You’ve always rejected me, but I’ll never stop asking. Please go on a date with me, Sunggyu.” The big guy asks and even bowed after he was done speaking. His hands hold out a ticket to Sunggyu.  
  
The black-haired man takes it and scans the ticket. Woohyun doesn’t like how his eyes start to glow in excitement. “The Nell concert next month? But that…those are tickets for the standing pit!”  
  
Yongguk smiles and rubs his hand together nervously, a weird gesture for such an intimidating guy. “I heard the sound is better if you are closer to the stage and I figured you wouldn’t like sitting somewhere in a fancy VIP zone.”  
  
Sunggyu looks at the ticket again and then back to the other. “Do you like Nell too?”  
  
“No.” The other answers without a moment of hesitation, but then quickly adds: “But I want to hear the music you like. I want to see the things you love from up close and maybe I will come to like them too.”  
  
Woohyun can see that the older man likes his answer. It seems sappy, but it’s so honest that Woohyun feels like barfing on the table. He feels like shit because Yongguk is everything he’s not – rich, nice and honest, maybe a bit of stalker. Sunggyu deserves someone like him. A pair of eyes land on Woohyun and he glances over to the love of his life. _Why do you look at me as if you’re asking for my permission?_ Woohyun’s heart clenches and he averts his gaze – a coward.  
  
“You can take your time to think about it. Keep the ticket, please, even if you don’t want to go together with me.” Yongguk says, as the understanding guy he is.  
  
“Okay, but Yongguk-“ Sunggyu’s voice turns from a friendly tone towards a slightly scolding one. “-don’t appear out of nowhere again to surprise me. You have a phone, use it.”  
  
“I will. “ Woohyun glances up to see the rich dude smiling widely, his gums showing. “See you around, Sunggyu.”  
  
He finally leaves them alone again – not without giving Woohyun another glare of course, which he returns with an equal amount of dislike. He looks over to Sunggyu and finds him staring at the ticket with his nose still hanging in the flowers. Woohyun wants to rip them out of his hands and throw them on the ground, stomp on them until they are destroyed. He tries to keep his expression from showing those feelings though.  
  
“Are you going to go with him?” Woohyun asks suddenly.  
  
Sunggyu snaps out of his trance. He looks at him questioningly for a moment, but then he puts down the flowers and the ticket with a short smile that seems almost apologetic. “Sorry for that. He keeps doing that.”  
  
“You didn’t answer my question.” He says and Woohyun is surprised for a moment by how cold his own voice sounds. He wants to slap himself for using such a tone towards Sunggyu.  
  
The older man blinks in surprise, but then he starts to laugh. Woohyun feels the warmth creep into his face. “Do you want me to reject his offer?”  
  
“Yes.” He blurts out and feels satisfied when Sunggyu blushes and averts his gaze.  
  
“I think you should go to the concert with him, hyung.” Another voice suddenly speaks and Woohyun finds the waiter at their table again. Sunggyu’s roommate. “Yongguk’s stalker behavior can be creepy, but I trust him more than this _bum_.”  
  
Woohyun narrows his eyes at the younger. “Bum?!”  
  
“Jongie, please…”  
  
“No, hyung! You can’t wait here forever! Sitting here and staring out of the window is not going to change anything! Start a new life with Yongguk! Why are you still stuck in the past? Stop waiting for _him_!” Sungjong shouts at him, apparently not caring about the other customers who glance their way.  
  
A look of hurt flashes over Sunggyu’s face. Woohyun can’t deny that he is curious about the meaning of the waiter’s words. Who is Sunggyu waiting for? Why is he stuck in the past? Hadn’t he let go of it, when his parents died? “I’m not stuck! I’m meeting people! Why are you so fixated on Yongguk? You don’t know Woohyun.”  
  
Sunggyu looks over to him, but Sungjong just snorts. “I don’t trust this guy! He’s going to hurt you, hyung!”  
  
“Hey, I’m sitting right here!” Woohyun protests, a little angry over the treatment, even if it seems to hit right where it hurts – because it’s true. “I won’t hurt him. Besides, I think he’s old enough to decide who he meets.”  
  
Sungjong sends him a feisty glare. “Shut up! You don’t know a thing!”  
  
“Lee Sungjong!” Sunggyu’s shout rings through the small café. “How are you treating a customer? Boss will fire you if he catches you being rude to him and shouting. Go back to work. We will talk later.”  
  
The waiter opens his mouth, but then closes it again and takes off with a pout on his lips, mumbling something about how good Yongguk would be for Sunggyu even if he is rich. Woohyun rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry again, Woohyun. He’s a little overprotective. Please don’t be mad at him.”  
  
He smiles and shakes his head, although he _is_ mad at Sungjong. “No, it’s okay. You have a good friend.”  
  
“Our date got ruined.” Sunggyu laughs shortly and Woohyun grins at him.  
  
“So this was a date?”  
  
The older man stares at him with wide eyes. “I-well-I thought this-Do you not want it to be a date?”  
  
Woohyun reaches over to clasp Sunggyu’s hand in his, enjoying the short yelp of surprise from the black-haired man. He squeezed the soft hand. “Of course it’s a date. I’m lucky to have the chance to drink hot chocolate with the cutest guy in town.”  
  
The other man tries to hide his flustered expression behind his free hand. “You’re exaggerating. Do you think that kind of flirting is effective?”  
  
“So far it seems to work quite well, but maybe my attractive looks add to it.” Woohyun chuckles.  
  
Sunggyu glances at him through the gap in his fingers. “There’s something about you, Woohyun. Something that feels familiar. I feel like we have met somewhere before Honeytree.”  
  
“Now _you_ are flirting with me. That’s a pretty old  line though.” He retorts teasingly, but Woohyun is sweating and panicking inside. Sunggyu’s words make him scared that the other might be getting closer to the truth.  
  
The chance seems low, since their contact as children had been very limited and one-sided. He wonders what Sunggyu thought on the day years ago, when Woohyun didn’t appear at the café. Was he disappointed? Mad?  
  
“I wasn’t flirting with you. I meant it!” He moves to pull his hand away, seemingly a little angry over his comment, but Woohyun holds onto the smaller hand.  
  
He looks up at the older man with pleading eyes. “Don’t go. I’m sorry for teasing you.”  
  
Sunggyu laughs shortly. “I’m not mad, Woohyun. I’m sorry. I actually have to start my shift now.”  
  
“Oh…” Woohyun can’t quite hide his disappointment about the news. He hoped to have more time with the other, but of course Sunggyu has a life and a job too.  
  
The black-haired man laughs again and gives his hand a short squeeze. “You are not very good at hiding your emotions, are you?”  
  
 _Actually, I’m an expert at it. But you, my mask is not working around you. It slips and breaks with every minute we are together._ Woohyun smiles weakly. “Does it bother you?”  
  
Sunggyu returns the smile. “No, not at all. It’s kind of cute.”  
  
Woohyun feels his cheeks heat up and he wrecks his brain for a fitting reply, but can’t seem to find any. “I can’t seem to control myself when I’m around you.”  
  
It’s the truth, so the words fall from his lips without a problem. Their eyes meet again and Woohyun wants nothing more than to pull him in for a kiss. Sunggyu is wonderful, caring, beautiful and still the very light of his existence. He wants to lock him up somewhere and keep him only for him to see, away from people like Yongguk that want to steal his sun. Around Sunggyu he feels like that kid from high school again that had a dream and a love.  
  
The moment gets interrupted by Sungjong before he can do anything. The waiter calls for Sunggyu from behind the counter. “Hyung! Hurry up!”  
  
And just like that the magic is broken. The black-haired man stands up and this time Woohyun lets go of his hand. Sunggyu gives him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I have to go. But maybe we can…meet again?”  
  
“How long is your shift?”  
  
The other man stares at him in confusion. “10 pm, why?”  
  
Woohyun grins and stands up as well. “I’ll pick you up.”  
  
His eyes widen. “You don’t have to! It will be late already and you probably have other-”  
  
He steps closer and interrupts his rambling. “I _will_ pick you up.”  
  
“Okay, but don’t come here with a limousine.”  
  
“Let me guess – Yongguk?”  
  
Sunggyu laughs. “Yes.”  
  
“Then I will have to take the Masarati.” His words earn him a light punch against the shoulder. “I’ll be here at point 10 pm to fetch you, princess.”  
  
“Don’t forget the umbrella this time.” Sunggyu warns him.  
  
Woohyun nods and walks over to the counter to pay for their drinks. “Woohyun, you don’t have to-“  
  
“I insist.” He literally _throws_ the money on the counter and smirks at Sungjong. “You can keep the change.”  
  
“How _nice_ of you.” The waiter replies with a cold voice. “Please don’t come again.”  
  
“Lee Sungjong! He’s a customer and a friend, behave yourself.” Sunggyu scolds him.  
  
The boy just snorted and turned away to tend to the new customers. Sunggyu sighed. “I’m sorry, Woohyun.”  
  
“I told you it’s okay. I’ll see you tonight?”  
  
The black-haired man smiled and nodded. “Okay. Don’t catch a cold.”  
  
They just smile at each other for a moment, before Sunggyu’s boss calls out for him and the older man has to avert his gaze. Woohyun leaves the café with the smile still on his lips. He hasn’t felt that good in a long time. The feeling he gets in the clubs is not even comparable to this happiness. Sunggyu might think he’s rich, but he doesn’t care about the money. Woohyun doesn’t know if he should reveal his lie though. After all, his real self is that of a poor liar who can’t even pay his own bills. He’s afraid Sunggyu might see him as the same as those guys in the shelter then. He doesn’t want to be supported by Sunggyu – he wants to support him.  
  
Everything would be easier if he had his degree already. He could make a lot of money as a doctor and afford to buy Sunggyu everything he needs. Woohyun sighs as he walks down the streets. In him the voices are fighting – tell him, don’t tell him – he can’t decide. Woohyun is caught in between his own believes and the things he used to believe in. He doesn’t know what to do, but the truth seems disgusting, he finds it hard to say. He just wants to be close to Sunggyu to feel the warmth of the sun, even if it’s just for a while until the bubble bursts.  
  
  
  
He picks up Sunggyu later and they talk a lot on their way. He just listens most of the time as Sunggyu tells him about the weird customers he had, about his likes and dislikes, his favorite movie and how Sungjong handed him a pepper spray before going home first. Woohyun tells him things too, most of it is the truth, but he’s careful not to reveal too much. When Sunggyu asks what his parents do, he tells him the same story that he tells everyone. His father owns a big company that sells medical devices. It sounds like a lot of money and most people wouldn’t know if there is a company with that name or if it has a president named Nam Boohyun. Who is interested in companies like that anyways? His mother’s company is located in France and Woohyun gave it such a complicated French name that no one would be able to remember it and look it up later. The lies fall easy from his lips, easier than the truth, although he knows he should not lie. It had been his chance to make everything right, but it could also have destroyed their nice evening together.  
  
When they are close to Sunggyu’s home, the older man asks another sudden question. “Where did you go to school, Woohyun?”  
  
“What do you mean? High school?” He replies nervously. “Why are you asking?”  
  
The black-haired man shrugs and gives him a short smile. “I just thought maybe we went to the same middle school. I told you, you look familiar.“  
  
His heart almost stops and Woohyun struggles to keep his façade. He laughs awkwardly. “You’re still obsessed with that idea? I’m sure we’ve never met before. I’m from Daegu. I lived there until the end of high school.”  
  
 _Another chance to tell the truth gone._ The older man looks disappointed for a moment. “Oh, I’m sorry. It must be annoying that I keep bothering you with this. I’ll stop thinking about it from now on.”  
  
He smiles weakly. “It’s fine. I wish I could’ve gone to the same school as you.”

_Actually, I did go to the same school as you._ Sunggyu chuckles. “Maybe it’s better you didn’t. There were a bunch of idiots in my school. Rich kids that thought they were better than everyone else. That money could buy them everything.”  
  
“Maybe I would’ve fit right in.” He jokes, but the other man shakes his head.  
  
“No, you are not like them. Don’t even try to be.”  
  
Woohyun feels a little guilty, because he _is_ trying to be like them. He acts rich and popular, looking down on those who adored him. He smirks, trying desperately to look stronger than he is. “You don’t know much about me. Maybe I’m just like them.”  
  
Sunggyu shrugs and smiles. “I guess you’re right. It’s just a feeling I have, though you could be a very good actor. Sungjong thinks you are going to hurt me.”  
  
He steps closer to the other as they stop in front of his door. The black-haired man presses his back against the door, as Woohyun leans so close that they noses almost touch. He can feel Sunggyu holding his breath as their eyes meet. “What do _you_ think?”  
  
“Maybe he’s right.” Sunggyu says and pushes softly against his chest. Woohyun backs off without resistance, his heart aching at the rejection. “I think it’s too early. I don’t know you good enough yet, but we can change that easily. What about Wednesday afternoon?”  
  
The question brings a smile back to his face. Woohyun immediately knows he does not have time that day, but his heart speaks faster than his mind. “Sure. I’ll pick you up?”  
  
“My shift ends at 2 pm.”  
  
Woohyun grins happily. “Then I will see you on Wednesday.”  
  
Sunggyu nods and retreats back into his apartment. Woohyun gets left behind on the corridor and for a moment he just stands there and stares at the door, hoping that it is going to open again. But it doesn’t. He turns and walks back to his apartment with a heavy heart. Woohyun knows what he is doing is wrong and dangerous. The closer he gets to Sunggyu, the higher the chance of being discovered. Yet he does not want to keep away from him. He knows that the more he lies, the lower the chance that he will be forgiven afterwards. He wants to tell him the truth, but Woohyun is too much of a coward. Too afraid that Sunggyu won’t forgive him for the lies he already told.  
  
He doesn’t even think he deserves to be happy with Sunggyu. Nam Woohyun does not deserve happiness. It always gets ripped from his hands, as soon as his hands get a hold of it. Destiny has given him another chance to see the love of his life, but only to show him that they can’t be together.  
  
That’s how he sees things.  
  
  
  
Nam Woohyun does not see that maybe destiny gave him a second chance to find true happiness. That all he’d have to do is grasp it and be himself again. That there is someone still waiting for him, waiting to save his soul.  
  
  
  
He charges off the cliff without taking the hand stretched out to him – right into his doom.


	4. Fourth Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getting closer to the end with a dramatic chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments juseyo~

**O** n the next Wednesday, Woohyun arrives at the small café exactly 1:59 pm with a red rose in his right hand - and this time very dry. He’s clothed in the best items he could find that don’t look overly expensive and show-offish. Sunggyu laughs when he takes out the rose. Woohyun pushes it into his hands with a wink. “I’ll give you one for every date we go on.”  
  
“So, you start counting today?” The black-haired man asks with a cheeky smile.  
  
“I thought last time was a date?” Woohyun replies with the same cheekiness.  
  
Sunggyu hums. “Shouldn’t it be two roses then?”  
  
“First, we will have to see if this can really be called a date.” He bows and offers his hand to Sunggyu, who slaps it away playfully.  
  
They laugh. “Let’s go. What are we doing today?”  
  
“I thought we could do the typical first date stuff like seeing a movie.” Sunggyu’s smile proves that he’s made the right choice.  
  
“What are we watching?”  
  
Woohyun grins at him and starts walking off. “Wait and see.”  
  
  
  
 **T** hey watch a horror movie, despite it still being as bright as day outside. He pays for everything, even if his wallet is a little tight right now. He’s sure that Sunggyu is worth every cent. Woohyun chose the movie for a reason and it seems like he was right with his predictions. Sunggyu is scared throughout the whole movie, jerking at every jump scare and clinging to Woohyun’s arm. The younger man does his best to hide how very unaffected he is from the horror movie - it’s quite boring and he’s probably staring more at his date then the screen. Near the end, their hands touch and their fingers intertwine. Woohyun’s gives the hand a comforting squeeze when another gruesome scene appears. It’s definitely all worth it when the black-haired hides his face against Woohyun’s neck.  
  
Sunggyu seems more than relieved when they finally leave the theater again. Their hands are still connected, but neither pulls away. Woohyun wishes he could hold the soft hand all day. It feels like magic when they touch like this. It makes him believe in Sunggyu’s “Happiness doesn’t come from money” slogan, but in the back of his mind, there is still this fear of losing said happiness again any minute. This kind of happiness seems fleeting and vulnerable. If you buy happiness, it’s more stable – it’s yours – and as long as you have money, no one can take it from you.  
  
“This was…great.” Sunggyu’s words snapped him from his thoughts.  
  
Woohyun laughed. “You were scared the whole time. You should’ve said that horror is not your genre when we picked the movie.”  
  
“Oh god, _no_. We would’ve had to see the sappy romance movie instead then. It was okay, really, better than drowning in grease. I’m not really the type for romance movies, but I’m guessing you like horror? I thought for sure you’d choose the other movie.”  
  
“I figured you’re not the type for romance. Besides, doesn’t give a horror movie two persons the perfect chance to get closer?” Woohyun asks and swings their connected hands to prove his point.  
  
The black-haired man glances at their hands. Sunggyu smiles. “So you had a hidden agenda all along?”  
  
“Maybe~ it was quite cute when you clung to me.”  
  
Sunggyu narrows his eyes at him, but the sparkle in them shows he isn’t really mad. “Now I see what kind of man you really are.”  
  
Woohyun pouts cutely. “Will you forgive me if I buy you ice cream?”  
  
“Probably depends on the flavor. If you choose wrong, I’m going to dump you.”  
  
Good thing he still remembers Sunggyu’s favorite flavor from their middle school time. The older man is pleasantly surprised that he guesses right the first time and when Woohyun asks him if they really would’ve broken up because of that, Sunggyu shakes his head.  
  
“We are not even dating yet.”  
  
“We _are_ going on dates.”  
  
“And that makes you my boyfriend?”  
  
“No, but it’s only a matter of time.”  
  
And time it surely takes.  
  
  
  
 **A** lthough they are very obviously attracted to each other, they don’t become a couple quickly. Sunggyu wants to know him better, good enough, before they can talk about a relationship. They go on dates whenever time allows it – especially Woohyun’s tight schedule, although he tends to skip work at Honeytree or classes when there is no other way. The weekends are not spent in the clubs anymore, at least not as often as before. He still enjoys the crowd and the feeling of control, but Woohyun’s money has another purpose now. He invests it into taking Sunggyu to amusement parks, doing trips to the beach with him or simply buying him ice cream. The older man pays from time to time as well. They take turns – to the relief of Woohyun’s pocket – because Sunggyu doesn’t want Woohyun to buy him things all the time just because he’s rich – which he’s not.  
  
They take turns deciding what to do on dates too. Sunggyu still hasn’t given up on showing him that money is not important. They give out food at a shelter once and Sunggyu also makes him buy _normal_ clothes. He doesn’t exactly force Woohyun. He goes shopping with him and they try on different things. Woohyun ends up buying most things Sunggyu picks, especially those that got a ‘ _It suits you_ ’ or _‘Very handsome’_ comment from the other. So he doesn’t really make Woohyun buy anything directly. It’s more like Woohyun makes himself buy them, because he wants to wear the clothes Sunggyu picked for him.  
  
His wallet is crying constantly, but Woohyun doesn’t care. He skips a meal here and there to save money and goes out without Sunggyu even less. The weirdest thing is probably that Sungjong is starting to act friendlier to him. Whenever he fetches Sunggyu at the café, he bumps into the waiter. But somewhere along the line, Sungjong stops glaring at him and gives him a somewhat approving look instead.  
  
  
  
 **W** oohyun goes to Honeytree on Friday. He feels a bit bad for leaving the owner alone so often, but he knows she is more likely to forgive him his escapades than the boss of the restaurant. That guy already dislikes him enough. Woohyun gives her excuses like he is sick or an exam is in his way, and she never doubts his words. At least it seems that way. He knows that she has the extraordinary gift to look a little deeper than most people. Maybe she knows there was something – someone – else keeping him busy, but Soyou never said anything.  
  
“Woohyun-ah, good morning!” She greets him with a smile.  
  
He returns the smile, honestly happy at the moment. “Good morning, Soyou-ssi.”  
  
The old woman steps closer and Woohyun shifts under her gaze. “W-What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing. It just seems like you’re glowing with happiness today. I noticed that you’ve changed over the past few weeks and with that I don’t mean your absence. You seem happier. You finally have some color on your face, you are wearing new clothes and you don’t run around like a party corpse anymore. Are you finally getting your life together?”  
  
Woohyun smiles shyly. He’s secretly happy about her words of course. He is trying to change – or rather Sunggyu changes him with his compassionate behavior. “I guess…”  
  
The owner laughs. “Did you meet someone?”  
  
He fights a blush that wants to form on his cheeks. Woohyun is about to say no, but then he thinks his life doesn’t needs another lie. Why not admit it to her? “Kind of.”  
  
She gives him a sudden hug and Woohyun’s eyes widen in surprise. Her small hands rub his back affectionately. Woohyun just stands still in her arms. “I’m glad you’ve met someone, Woohyun. You need to have fun, but more like a regular person. Finish your studies and get a better job than this. You can’t hang around this place all your life. You are still young. Do something with your life. This old woman will be fine without you.”  
  
Soyou breaks the hug, but her hands still linger on his upper arms. “Sorry if I’m bothering you. You’re like a son to me, Woohyun.”  
  
Woohyun tears up at her words and then his carefully built walls crumble. He hugs the old woman and buries his face in her shoulder, a few tears slipping from his eyes in silence. Soyou is like a mother to him. She’s warm and caring – he actually feels much closer to her than he did to his own mother. He’s so happy to have her, because even if his tower of lies falls someday, she will still be there. She _knows_ – somehow she always knows. The owner is a safe haven that he can return to, always welcoming and understanding. Woohyun really feels like she is his mother. Who else would understand him this well and forgive him for everything?  
  
The smaller woman wraps her arms around him again, her hands patting his slightly trembling back. “You’re a big boy, aren’t you? Don’t cry. Is it that awful to imagine me as your mom?”  
  
She laughs, but Woohyun can hear her voice shaking a bit, as if she is trying to hold her own tears in. He can’t find the words to tell her about his feelings – how she means more to him than his birth mother –, so he just shakes his head slowly and mumbles a “no” into her shoulder.  
  
“Aigoo, we need to work, Woohyun. If you don’t stop crying, the buns will taste salty later.”  
  
Woohyun breaks the hug with a quiet chuckle, his hands wiping the tears away. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Soyou smacks his arm. “Stop apologizing all the time, boy. You can use my shoulder any time you need and you can talk to me any time, you know that, right?”  
  
He nods slowly and manages to smile at her. “Thank you, Soyou-ssi.”  
  
Another smack. “Call me Soyou, Woohyun-ah. We are not strangers. I’ll go prepare things in the front, so gather yourself and then bake something - or our customers won’t have anything to buy later.”  
  
Woohyun nods and does as told. His shift is over in the blink of an eye. Someone once said that time passes by quicker if you are happy and for once, Woohyun can’t help but agree. He _is_ happy and there is no money involved. His castle of lies is still standing, but currently some windows are open to let in fresh air. He’s still too afraid to actually leave his castle, but the locks on the doors are starting to rust. Woohyun wishes he could just continue like this, but he knows that the way things were going right now, he would reach the end of the road soon. The only escape is confessing - either losing or winning it all.  
  
  
  
 **O** ne of these days, when he drops Sunggyu off to work and the black-haired man goes to the back to change his clothes, Sungjong pulls him to the side to have a talk with him. “Sorry. Maybe I misjudged you.”  
  
“Pardon? I think I didn’t hear that. Can you repeat what you just said?” Woohyun asks with a smug expression.  
  
The waiter gives him his signature glare. “I won’t repeat it. You heard me very well. I want to have a serious conversation with you, so if you could just try to be an adult for a minute?”  
  
Woohyun looks at his watch. “Sure. One minute…starting now.”  
  
Sungjong huffs. “You’re lucky Sunggyu-hyung likes you, seriously. He’s changing a lot recently and I think it’s because of you.”  
  
He grins and the waiter gives him a light smack. “Listen properly. Yongguk has been trying to get him out of his shell for a while, but never quite got through. He’s a really nice and good-looking guy, but I guess hyung only sees him as a friend. Sunggyu-hyung used to spend most of his time just sitting at the window and staring out of it. He once told me that after his parents died and he didn’t really know where to go - he came to this place. Apparently, some dude in middle school wanted to confess to him here back then, but he never turned up. What an ass, right?”  
  
Woohyun stares at Sungjong, trying hard to keep his face blank, although there is a huge tumult inside of him. _It can’t be. That’s not possible…_ Surely he would have noticed if this was the café from back then. And why would Sunggyu even wait for him? He must have had other places to go, other people to turn to, after his parents died.  
  
“-hoping for him to come back. I don’t know why he couldn’t just let go of it. Maybe his parents’ death made him wish, he could turn back time. Become a middle school student once more and avoid the present. He probably clung to the guy from the past to achieve this, maybe it made him feel like no time has passed. I don’t know…but that ass has probably long forgotten about him-“  
  
 _I’ve never…not once…_ *  
  
“-he’s stopped waiting now. I haven’t seen him sitting at the window for a long time and I guess it’s all thanks to you. Hyung is smiling more and you’re obviously what he needed to forget the past. So, thank you and please take care of him, okay? He really deserves to be happy.”  
  
Sunggyu returns to the front again and Sungjong turns away from him quickly. Woohyun meets the black-haired man’s gaze and Sunggyu smiles widely at him. He feels his chest tighten. Woohyun walks out of the café without returning the smile or telling him goodbye. As he’s outside, he walks a few steps before looking back. And that’s when he notices it. The years have changed the street and the café looks different from before, but it’s the place. Woohyun can see the alley where the other boys pulled him to, the lamppost he leaned against - and there is Sunggyu behind the window, giving him a worried look.  
  
Woohyun can feel himself crumbling under his gaze, crumbling under the guilt that is pressing down on him. How ironically that Sungjong thinks that Sunggyu has found a way to overcome his past thanks to Woohyun. He _is_ the past Sunggyu couldn’t let go of. Woohyun the savior is a lie. He’s the boy that kept his love waiting, the asshole that never turned up. He’s the coward that is always running without looking back.  
  
Sunggyu has been waiting for him all this time – waiting for Woohyun to save him – but said man never noticed, because he never looked back. And now he is one stop close to destroying Sunggyu’s world again.  
  
 _I’m an idiot._  
  
  
  
 **A** few days pass without a meeting with Sunggyu, since the black-haired man is out of town, giving him time to think. And he needs a lot of thinking. He tries to get his head around the fact that Sunggyu was waiting for him, right in the place where they were supposed to meet back then. Why him? They had never exchanged a lot of words. He thought he would just enjoy this while it lasts and then let go of Sunggyu without regrets when the time comes, but now he knows that he can’t. He can’t just walk away again and send Sunggyu back to waiting for a boy that was never going to come. The boy from back then was gone forever. He needs to free the older man from the past he is stuck in and lies are not going to achieve that. Sunggyu would just go back to his old habits if they separated without him knowing the truth.  
  
He works both of his shifts every day of the week, but his mind is constantly on the older man. They exchange text messages every day, although Woohyun is sometimes hesitating with his replies. He’s suddenly unsure of what to say, how to act. Sunggyu notices that something is wrong, but Woohyun makes up some quick lies about a cold and how he’s feeling unwell. The lie works, although it pains him to use another one on Sunggyu.  
  
  
  
 **W** oohyun makes a decision a week later while looking at his closet full of brand items. He’s going to tell Sunggyu the truth.  The black-haired man needs to know and even if doom awaits him, he has to try. Because he knows that they are going to reach a limit soon. A limit he won’t be able to surpass by continuing like this. Woohyun plans it carefully, especially since he needs time to mentally prepare himself. He can’t get rid of what he “is” so fast, but he wants to at least try the truth for Sunggyu – the older man deserves to be set free.  
  
He reserves a table for them at a famous - but not too expensive - restaurant. Woohyun wants to take him out to dinner and then afterwards take a walk with Sunggyu through the nearby park. There’s a little lake in it with a small bridge and that’s where he wants to confess – with only the moon and the stars watching them. It seems overly romantic and not fitting the occasion, but Woohyun figures that this might very well be his last date with Sunggyu. At least it would end with a good memory.  
  
  
  
 **O** n Friday, he goes to his shift at Honeytree like always. The owner greets him with a smile and he starts baking the goods for later. He messes up on the recipes a few times, because his mind is on the date with Sunggyu on Sunday – the final moment of truth. He’s nervous as hell. Telling the truth doesn’t seem easy at all, but it seems like the only route left for him. Woohyun cannot let go of Sunggyu – not again – at least not without trying.  
  
He’s taking a break in the back when he hears a loud bang followed by a scream. Woohyun jumps up from his chair in panic and runs through the door to the front of the bakery. Ailee’s head snaps in his direction. She has a hand over her mouth and Woohyun can see the tears glittering in her eyes. “S-Soyou-ssi…”  
  
He spots the woman on the floor, not far away from Ailee. There’s a pool of blood forming under her body and Woohyun rushes over to her side quickly. “What are you doing? Call an ambulance!”  
  
Ailee snaps out of her trance and hurries towards the phone. Woohyun examines the old woman and sees that the blood is coming from a wound in her stomach. He stands up again and quickly gets one of the towels that he can press onto the wound, as well as a pair of scissors. “What the hell happened?!”  
  
He doesn’t know if the waitress is talking to him or to the paramedic on the phone, but she mumbles answers between her sobs. “Honeytree bakery…..yes….a shooting….she’s bleeding…please…please save her…”  
  
Woohyun cuts open the shirt to reveal the wound. He curses loudly. It’s clearly a shot wound. He does his best with his medical knowledge to give the owner first-aid treatment and then presses the towel on the wound to stop the blood from flowing out. “Soyou. Soyou-ssi! Can you hear me?”  
  
He gives her faces light slaps but the woman does not react. Woohyun controls her pulse and is relieved to find it still there. “The ambulance will be here in a few minutes. Hold on. Please, please, hold on. You can’t leave me.”  
  
Woohyun clings to her like a baby as he waits for the ambulance to come. He tries to get the whole story from Ailee, but she’s still in shock. She can barely speak a sentence without breaking out into loud sobs. The ambulance arrives quickly to his relief. Woohyun tells the paramedics everything he knows about her wound and they quickly get her into the car. Both of them are not allowed to get into the ambulance with her, but at least that gives Woohyun the time to close the shop properly with the key, so that no one will break in. Ailee explains the whole story as the police arrive a few minutes later.  
  
She was cleaning the tables when a masked man in a hood entered the bakery. He suddenly grabbed her and held a weapon to her head, demanding all the money in the register. Soyou tried to calm him down as she got the money ready – of course she would not risk her employee’s life for some money. But the robber had not been content with the amount of money she handed him. He wanted to drag Ailee away as well, mumbling how good-looking she was and how she would be considered an additional bonus, since the cash was too low. Soyou tried to stop him, begging him to take her credit card or anything else, just not the girl. They got into a tussle and the man shot his gun in the middle of the fight. Ailee said it was probably accidentally, since he ran away in panic afterwards, even leaving the money behind.  
  
Woohyun doesn’t really care if it was accidental or not. The police have to catch that bastard. He goes to the hospital once the policemen are done with interrogating both of them. Soyou is still in operation when he arrives. He waits in the corridor, walking up and down with panic gripping his guts. Woohyun wants to scream, to break down and cry, but he holds it inside. He can’t lose her – not now, not like this, not his second mother.  
  
He remembers the last time he had stood in a corridor like this, pacing up and down and hoping for good news. Woohyun remembers the moment the door opened and the doctor stepped out with a crestfallen expression. _“I’m sorry, boy. She’s dead.”_  
  
  
  
 **T he death of his father hit his mother hard. She never really recovers, but Woohyun can see that she keeps going for him. There is still a wedge between them because of what happened back then, but she takes care of him nevertheless. The air between mother and son is colder than before. They barely eat meals together, especially because his mother works most of the time. Woohyun isn’t sure if she does that because they need money or because she wants to be anywhere else but home.  
  
He gets to finish middle school, but at another place. Woohyun didn’t want to meet his old classmates again and the thought of meeting Sunggyu again, pained him. They are living in different worlds. The world Woohyun is living in is cold and dark, full of misfortune and disappointments. It’s not a world his sun belongs in. It would suffocate it here - burn out and turn into a cold, lifeless stone.  
  
Woohyun does not see him again. Most of his time is spend on his studies now – the only thing he was ever good at, according to his mother. He sets himself the goal of being a doctor. They make a lot of money and apparently, they can get away with a lot of things too – thanks to that money. A tiny, very small part of him wants to be a doctor so that he can save people like his father. He wants to help the small and poor people, who get trampled on and lost in the illusions of a fair system.  
  
Sometimes he gets into arguments with his mother. Most of the time, the arguments are about his father. Woohyun does not call him useless and a waste of space anymore, but they still clash from time to time. The times they fight like this are filled with “Why”s and “What if”s - useless thoughts of what could have been. Woohyun hates fighting with her. He loves his mother despite all differences and she is the only person he has left in this world. Not to mention that he knows why his mother is on the edge most of the time. She is under a lot of stress. The only thing he can do to make up for his past mistakes, is being a good boy and graduating with the best grades. After that he can get a stable job and ease his mother’s burden. He won’t be like his father and just sit around at home.  
  
He should’ve known that life would never let him have an ideal ending like that.  
  
  
  
Woohyun is in the second year of high school when he loses his mother.  
  
They have a huge fight in the morning, because she found one of his porn magazines while he was showering. Woohyun doesn’t think it’s that unnatural for a teenager of his age to own something like that. He has no father to explain that kind of stuff to him, so he can only go by what his classmates do and they certainly glimpse at magazines like that or look up pictures online. It’s normal to have _dreams_ and wake up rock hard in the morning. It’s just that kind of age and since he is older than his classmates by one year, Woohyun is already in the middle of grasping the whole “I have a cock and I can use it” experience. His mother knows that too.  
  
But it’s one of the gay magazines she finds, just to make the matter worse. “This is wrong, Woohyun. Very wrong. Tell me why this was under your bed.”  
  
“Well, why were you under my bed snooping around?” He retorts stubbornly as he packs his backpack for school.  
  
“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” She grabs his arm and turns him around. “Woohyun! I want an answer!”  
  
He sighs. “I’m not gay. I’m bi, I guess. There’s nothing wrong with that, mum. Maybe you should check the news from time to time, because we are not living in 1970 anymore.”  
  
His mother looks about to slap him. She raises a finger. “Don’t get cocky with me. _This_ will stop! I won’t accept this. Can’t you behave like a normal young boy for once?”  
  
“What’s not normal about me? I’ve done my best to be the best normal son you could possibly have! My grades are excellent and I’m going to become a doctor!” Woohyun snaps at her. “It’s my business who I love.”  
  
Her expressions changes to disappointment and sadness. “Where have I gone wrong? Is it because your father is not here anymore? He would’ve taught you things like that…”  
  
“He wouldn’t have taught me anything! Except for sitting in an armchair and drinking beer!”  
  
She raises her hand, but does not actually slap him. His mother lowers her hand again after a moment of silence. “Either you change this _hobby_ of yours or you are leaving my house. This – this _gay_ thing – it’s sick, Woohyun, and it’s going to destroy you. Your soul will burn in hell.”  
  
Woohyun grabs his backpack and storms out of the room, full of anger and tears brimming in his eyes. “Good thing my soul is a lost cause anyways.”  
  
  
He doesn’t need to leave in the end, because his mother leaves first.  
  
  
  
He’s in his room and doing the homework when the doorbell rings. It rings a few times before Woohyun hears it and before he actually stands up to answer the door. He wonders who is so persistent with reaching them. His eyes widen when he sees two policemen in front of their home.  
  
“Hello there. You must be Woohyun, right?” One of them greets him.  
  
He shifts uncomfortably under their gazes. “Yes…how can I help you?”  
  
The second man puts his hands on his shoulders with a firm, but warm grip. “You have to be a strong boy for your mother now. She was involved in an accident.”  
  
Woohyun feels his heartbeat slow down, almost stopping completely. The whole world seems to freeze and all he can do is stare at the policemen. He’s caught between breaking down and laughing - that’s why his face just stays blank. He wants to laugh because every time he gets his life back together, destiny plays him another trick and destroys all of his hopes. Is happiness such an unobtainable goal for him?  
  
“Don’t worry. We are taking you to her. She’s going to be alright.”  
  
  
  
The operation takes hours. One of the policemen stays with him - probably to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid or tries running away. He tells Woohyun what happened, even without the boy asking the question. “She walked over a street, although the pedestrian light showed red. Witnesses said that seemed to be in a hurry and very tired. She kept grabbing her head and mumbling things. A car hit her because the driver did not expect someone to suddenly walk onto the street. Of course we are investigating the case, since the driver should’ve been able to step on the breaks in time.”  
  
Woohyun doesn’t react to his words. Instead, he just stands up and starts pacing up and down the corridor. He doesn’t allow himself to show weakness, to break down and cry. His mother will be fine. There is no reason for worry. Life couldn’t be so merciless to him, could it?  
  
He holds his breath when the doors to the operation room slide open. A doctor walks out, his expression saying absolutely nothing and yet everything at the same time. “I’m sorry, boy. She did not survive-“  
  
Woohyun feels everything go numb as he listens to his words. The doctor’s voice seems far away now, as if he is standing on another side of a wall. “-blood loss. And she seemed to be carrying an untreated form of bronchitis around with her. It has probably been bothering here for a while and it caused damage to her lungs, which led to further complications-“  
  
That’s when he hits his breaking point and the boy just runs. He runs and runs, fleeing from the hospital, from the policeman, from the doctor and from his dead mother. Running until he can’t run anymore. Crying until the last tear has fallen. Screaming until his voice breaks.  
  
Until Woohyun himself breaks.  
  
  
  
In the orphanage is where everything starts. The castle of lies is being built slowly in the years he stays there. The range of lies is wide - from making up a better and more exciting past to win the other children’s favor up to tricking the caretakers at night, so he can go out to work. He makes some money through small part-time jobs, after successfully lying about is age. Woohyun saves up the money for the time he gets out the orphanage. It’s not a bad place – the people are nice and under different circumstances, he would’ve become friends with most of the kids – but Woohyun has lost his childhood innocence already, while the others still have it. He has seen the reality of the world and he doesn’t know how to turn back time. How can he believe again after being disappointed so often?  
  
The orphanage is far away from the area where he used to live, but Woohyun doesn’t mind. He does not go back even once. He doesn’t want to face the bad memories that place holds.  
  
Woohyun remembers the reason for his mother’s death. She overworked herself to get enough money for both of them. Her colleagues had told that to the police. Apparently, she rarely slept and seemed sick often, but she still pushed herself to work every shift she could. Woohyun tries to remember seeing her sick, maybe hearing her cough, but he couldn’t find any memories of that kind. He doesn’t know who is to blame. Woohyun is out of people to point his fingers at. He used to blame his father, but now he is gone. There was a time he blamed his mother – gone as well. He can only point the finger at himself now.  
  
He finishes high school during his stay. It gets paid from the money his mother left him. Woohyun never gets adopted – he’s too old and he does his best not to get selected. On the day he leaves the orphanage, he makes a promise to himself. He’s going to be someone else from now on. If life can’t give him the happiness he needs, then he will _buy_ it. He will become a person that can obtain happiness with money - because in the end money is all you need.  
  
And so his endless circle of buying brand stuff begins. The castle continues to grow, the walls grow thicker and keys to locks get thrown away. Thick curtains appear on the windows, beer crates block the doors and Woohyun stays behind in the everlasting party. In a crowd that has no face, but it surrounds him, supports him and he can’t fall.  
  
At least, he believed he can’t fall.**  
  
  
  
 **“E** xcuse me? Sir?”  
  
Woohyun snaps awake. He didn’t even remember sitting down or falling asleep, but apparently he did. He stares blankly at the nurse looming over him. “Are you here for Soyou-ssi?”  
  
His eyes widen and he stands up, scaring the nurse for a second. She stumbles back and gives him a shocked look. “Yes! How is she? Is the operation over?”  
  
The nurse nods. “The operation is over. She was brought to the ICU. I can only give you out exact information to family members. Are you-“  
  
“I’m her son.” He lies quickly, but not quick enough to seem suspicious. Is it even a lie? After all, they are like mother and son. Woohyun adds a smile to his words, because he knows it looks charming and makes women more likely to accept his lies.  
  
“The doctor took the bullet out successfully, but it damaged a part of her stomach.” She explains and then continues on about the medical complications. Woohyun is glad that he is studying medicine, because he understands every word she is saying.  
  
And when she is done and he can finally get to see Soyou from away. Woohyun knows that it’s not sure if she is going to make it. The doctor had to put her into artificial coma to help her body recover, but there is a high danger of complications happening. A vital organ was damaged and Soyou is not exactly the youngest. Woohyun leans his head against the window separating him from the old woman. He clenches his fist as he watches the lifeless looking figure.  
  
 _How many more is he going to lose?_  
  
  
  
 **W** oohyun does the only thing he can think of: he goes to a club. He should have called Sunggyu instead to find comfort in his arms, but his body carries him over to the clubs before his mind can react. It’s still trying to process what happened to Soyou today. Woohyun does not even put on his expensive brand clothes. He just enters the club and orders one tequila. Another one follows soon. A whiskey. A beer. Many other drinks.  
  
Some people recognize him and talk to him, asking what’s wrong with his clothes, but Woohyun shuts them up with a free drink. When the glances get too much, he escapes to the dance floor. The crowd takes him in without a problem. He tries to dance his sorrow away, because the alcohol doesn’t seem to help at all. Soyou’s lifeless voice is still in front of his eyes, the shot and scream are still ringing in his ears. Woohyun doesn’t even notice when he starts to cry and thankfully everyone around him is so lost that they don’t notice as well. His tears could very well be drops of sweat falling down. Who cares?  
  
After some time – Woohyun doesn’t know how much – he gets back to the bar to get something for his dry throat. Just when he wants to gulp down the shot, a hand grabs his shoulder. “I knew it. It’s you!”  
  
He blinks, trying to clear the fog in his eyes and see the person in front of him. Before it actually happens, the other person – a taller guy? – grabs his collar and pulls him from his stool. Woohyun tries to free himself out of his grip. “H-Hey…lemmego…”  
  
“What kind of twisted fate is this meeting you here? I’ve actually wanted to meet you so that we could have a private talk. Do you know what I found out?”  
  
Woohyun gets shaken and he is pretty close to throwing up, but the guy stop right before his control breaks. He feels his eyesight clearing a bit and Woohyun’s eyes widen. “Yonuk…”  
  
“It’s Yongguk. God, how much have you drunk? You stink like a filthy rat, but then again that is exactly what you are.”  
  
He frowns. Woohyun pushes him away and tries to regain his speech. Why is the world turning so fast? “What did’chu say?”  
  
“I said you are a rat, a filthy, lying rat.” Yongguk replies and gives him a strong push that throws him against the wooden counter behind him.  
  
Woohyun grabs onto the wood to keep himself from falling. He glares at the other. “Molest someone else, frigging stalker!”  
  
“I’m not a stalker!” Yongguk hisses.  
  
“Well, I’m not rat!”  
  
“Yes, you are. And I’m going to tell Sunggyu all about it.” The other guy threatens.  
  
Woohyun stares at him, once again frozen in shock. “I did a little digging into your past, because you got close to Sunggyu. He told me about your family and all the other lies you fed him, but you know what I found out? You’re not rich. Your parents are not famous. They don’t exist. You’re just a parentless kid from an orphanage. I don’t know why you are faking these things and getting close to him, but I won’t let this continue. Sunggyu will know the truth, and once he knows what kind of man you really are, he will cut all ties with you. You money-obsessed liar have no right to be close to him.”  
  
“You cannot tell him…” Woohyun manages to say. He straightens his body and points his finger at Yongguk, who immediately slaps it away. “You can’t-“  
  
“I can! And I will! I should tell him right now. I would call him over to see your pitiful state, but I’m afraid it would hurt him only more.”  
  
“You can’t…” Woohyun stumbles closer to him. _I’m going to tell him…we’ll meet on Sunday. I will tell him. He will forgive me._ “I’ll tell him…”  
  
“Get lost! Don’t come anywhere near him anywhere.” Yongguk gives him another push, but Woohyun immediately catches himself and throws himself at the other, landing a punch in his face.  
  
The punch makes the other man stumble back, but before Woohyun can react, a fist flies back at him. Yongguk hits straight on his nose and Woohyun groans in pain. He ignores his – probably broken – nose and lunges at the taller man again. They struggle and more punches are exchanged. He actually manages to make Yongguk fall at some point, but the man kicks his leg away in the next moment and then Woohyun lands on the floor too. He can see the feet of people all around him, circling the fighting men like a wall, but no one interferes to stop their fight.  
  
He feels his stomach turn when Yongguk hovers over him and lands several punches to his face. Every spot of his face hurts by now, but Woohyun doesn’t give up. He changes their positions in an act of despair and throws a fist at him. Yongguk catches his wrist and smirks. Just then Woohyun’s eyes find an object near them and before he can think about his actions, he grabs the empty bottle and lifts it up, aiming to hit the other with it. Yongguk’s eyes widen as he sees the object coming at his head.  
  
“You can’t tell him!”


	5. True Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Woohyun finally have the chance to tell Sunggyu the truth? Or will Yongguk destroy it all >:D?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the last chapter! :33 thanks for reading guys!  
> leave a kudo or a comment if you liked it! you can even follow me on twitter  
> or check out my AFF to read more <3  
> -waves-
> 
> PS: do not steal my story!

**H** e would’ve hit Yongguk with the bottle if someone had not grabbed his wrist in time.  
  
Woohyun gets pulled away from the other and the bottle is snatched from his hand. He grunts and tries to free himself, but the hands holding him stay firm. His limbs feel sluggish from all the alcohol and the previous punches, though, so he finds it hard to struggle against the men holding him down. Woohyun tries to focus his eyes on Yongguk. Some people are trying to help him up on his feet, since Yongguk seems to have trouble standing up.  
  
“’emme go…” Woohyun mutters and tries to break free once more.  
  
“Calm down, buddy. You need to cool your head.” A man speaks to him, but the male just grunts in reply.  
  
“’ave to stop ‘im…”  
  
Woohyun hears a shout and moves his head back into Yongguk direction, just in time to see a fist flying into his face. He sees stars as the punch hits him in the face and then Woohyun stumbles down to the ground with the person holding him. His vision fades and Woohyun loses consciousness as people scream around them.  
  
  
  
  
 **E** verything is white when he wakes up, quite literally. Woohyun knows that he’s in a hospital with just one glance. Every part of his body seems to hurt, especially his face and chest. He can move around a bit, but his whole body feels like it’s covered in bruises. Woohyun groans as he sits up. He glares at the white wall opposite of him. Has Yongguk told the other male already? Is his façade finally over, ended by someone else?  
  
The defenses of his castle had been down, with windows and doors wide open, making it easy for invaders to get into it and rob him of everything he has.  
  
And now the only thing his castle can do is collapsing.  
  
Regret fills him and Woohyun can feel the tears brimming in his eyes. His fingers dig into the blanket, gripping the fabric hard. The realization that everything might be over now hits him hard. He’s scared and his heart feels like a knife got pushed into it. Now it gets twisted around to bring him more pain. Just the thought of Sunggyu knowing, Sunggyu hating him, is enough to bring him such pain. He pulls his knees to his chest and hides his face in the white fabric of the blanket.  
  
He doesn’t hear the door open, but Woohyun notices someone is there when a hand touches his hair. It’s a tentative touch at first, before the fingers curl into his dark locks and ruffle them slightly. “Are you in pain?”  
  
Woohyun raises his head abruptly and the other person quickly retracts their hand. His eyes widen. “Sunggyu?”  
  
The older man smiles shortly. “Why are you looking at me like I’m a ghost?”  
  
He can’t believe Sunggyu is here, smiling and looking perfect like always. He’s wearing his glasses again and Woohyun can see that the eyes behind the glass look a bit red and puffy. His hair is ruffled up, as if he had just woken up. Woohyun can’t help but wonder if he knows already and the thought is making his tongue heavy.  
  
Sunggyu sighs suddenly and pulls a chair to the bed, so that he can sit down. “What kind of drugs did they give you? Or did Yongguk hit you too hard?”  
  
Woohyun blinks. “Y-You know?”  
  
“I know you fought, yes. That’s why I’m here. I wanted to see how you’re doing and you look pretty awful, honestly. Though Yongguk doesn’t look much better.” Sunggyu smiles sadly.  
  
He gulps. “So you…talked to him?”  
  
“Yes, he called me because he had something to say.” Sunggyu looks directly into his eyes and he can’t help but feel that the older man is waiting for something.  
  
“Did he…?”  
  
“Well, partly, before I told him to stop. I was mad enough that he got into a fight with you. He said you started it, but you guys are adults and not elementary school kids. Yongguk shouldn’t have hit you back.” The black-haired man sighs again and rubs his temples. Woohyun thinks he can see his eyes glistening and it breaks his heart. “So…did you? Did you lie to me?”  
  
“Yes…” As easy as that the truth slips out of his mouth. A simple ‘yes’, yet it means so much more. He can see something in Sunggyu’s gaze break.  
  
Woohyun reaches out for Sunggyu’s hand, but the older man pulls back. “Sunggyu-“  
  
The older man folds his hands. He leans his forehead against them. “I’m such an idiot, am I not? I thought you are different…”  
  
“No! You’re not the idiot – I am. I’m sorry, Sunggyu…”  
  
“Was everything a lie?”  
  
He reaches out again and manages to separate Sunggyu’s hands. He cradles the hand in his palms. Woohyun wishes he could just prove his feelings to Sunggyu like this, transfer his thoughts to him with just a touch. “No. I swear I-“  
  
“You _swear_?” Sunggyu looks up at him and Woohyun can see that he’s trying to hold the tears in.  The older man smiles slightly. “What kind of oath is that? You swore you wouldn’t disappoint my trust and now look at what happened…”  
  
He squeezes the trembling hand between his palms. Every word is like a stab to his heart, but he knows that he deserves it. A stab for every lie he told. “I’m sorry, Gyu. I know it doesn’t mean much, but I am…I should’ve told you. I wanted to tell you-“  
  
Sunggyu rips his hand free. “You should’ve told me, before making me fall in love with you. Instead, you made me fall for a damn lie!”  
  
A tear breaks past Woohyun’s defense and he lowers his head in shame. A lie. That’s all he is and will ever be. He has always thought that he’d be able to handle the end of this well, but Woohyun never thought about how Sunggyu might feel once the bubble breaks.  
  
“Your parents?”  
  
Woohyun swallows hard. His nails dig into the blanket. He lost his father and mother in the hospital – is he going to lose Sunggyu and Soyou too? “Dead, both of them…”  
  
There’s a pregnant pause between them. “Dead…? God damn it, Woohyun!”  
  
“I’m sorry…my parents are not rich…I’m not rich…I-“  
  
Sunggyu breaks his rant by grabbing his shoulders. He shakes Woohyun. “Who cares about that, Woohyun? I don’t care about how much money you have! You know that! I told you!”  
  
He can’t stop the tears by now, especially since the hurt in Sunggyu’s voice is so clear to him. Woohyun can feel the hands shaking him tremble. “I know-”  
  
“Then why? _WHY_? If you knew I don’t care, then why did you lie?”  
  
Woohyun squeezes his eyes shut. “I-I don’t know!”  
  
“Woohyun, look at me.” He doesn’t dare to lift his head. “Please, just this one time, look me in the eyes and tell me the truth.”  
  
He finally looks up, catching Sunggyu’s gaze. The eyes he loves so much are clouded by tears and he can see doubt in them. Doubt he fully deserves for all of his lies. Woohyun’s hand cups Sunggyu’s cheek and the older man lets it happen. He may even lean into the touch a bit, but Woohyun doesn’t know if he’s just imagining that.  
  
“Because I love you. I-I always have…I was afraid of telling you. I thought you’d leave me once you saw the ugly truth. I just…I wanted to cherish it while it lasted. I didn’t think we had a future.”  
  
A tear drops from Sunggyu’s left eye and Woohyun catches it with his thumb. “I thought you’re too perfect for someone like me.”  
  
The black-haired man pulls away from the touch suddenly. Woohyun’s heart drops when he stands up. Sunggyu wipes his eyes. “I don’t know what hurts worse, the fact that you lied to me or the reason _why_ you lied. What made you think I want you to be anyone else but yourself? I don’t need a rich boyfriend with a flawless background! I told you everything about me! Secrets I’ve never told anyone. I’ve trusted you! Yet you felt the need to lie to me day after day. That’s not love, Woohyun. You don’t fake  something you’re not because of love. Maybe you yourself don’t know where the truth ends and the lie starts anymore…”  
  
“N-No, you don’t understand. I-“  
  
The tears slipping from Sunggyu’s eyes are each like a dagger that stabs his heart. “Enough…just, just stop, Woohyun. I don’t know if anything you say is going to be the truth or another lie. I don’t know anymore! I can’t do this, Woohyun.”  
  
“But I have to tell you something! Please! It’s the truth-“  
  
Sunggyu sighs and is about to say something, but then his cellphone starts to ring. “I have to go. It’s Sungjong. He was not happy to hear that I’m visiting you.”  
  
The older man turns around and heads towards the door. Woohyun tries to get out of his bed to stop him from leaving, but every bone in his body seems to be broken, if the pain was anything to go by. He clenched his teeth and managed to move his body, but he ended up falling over and toppling to the ground.  
  
“Woohyun! What are you doing?” Woohyun thinks he is dreaming when he looks up to see Sunggyu crouching next to him with a worried expression.  
  
Woohyun feels new tears forming in his eyes. He reaches out to cling to Sunggyu’s arm. “Please don’t hate me. Please don’t leave me…”  
  
“Woohyun…” He knows he is behaving like a desperate child clinging to his mother, but the fear of losing Sunggyu is too much to take. “Woohyun, stop crying, please…”  
  
“Don’t hate me. I’m sorry. I love you…please…let me explain.” Woohyun begs.  
  
The black-haired man cups his face and makes him look up. “I don’t hate you. You have lied to me all this time, but I can’t find the strength to hate you for it. I just…I don’t know if we can continue with everything that happened. It’s hard to trust someone that can lie to you so easily. I know you mean your words right now, but…I don’t think this relationship can work with you like this. And I don’t think there is anything I can do. This is something that you have to work out yourself. Just try thinking about what’s really important and sort out your life. Maybe then…”  
  
Woohyun stares at him with wide eyes. “M-Maybe what?”  
  
Sunggyu sighs again. “I don’t know, Woohyun. We will have to see.”  
  
His phone rings again and the older man stands up, slipping right out of Woohyun’s weak grip. “I really have to go. Please don’t do anything stupid. I don’t hate you, okay?”  
  
Before Woohyun can say anything, the other man is out of the door. He stays on the floor for a while, just thinking and trying to comprehend Sunggyu’s words. Woohyun is pretty sure that his love for Sunggyu is not a lie. It has never been one. Maybe it is the only truth he has in his life, except for his name. But which Woohyun is the real one and which is nothing but an illusion? Where is the border between the real him and the prince in the castle? He can’t find a clear line between them and it makes him frustrated. Has he been anything but an illusion for the last few years? Woohyun thought he was being himself with Sunggyu, but the reality was different. He had only been a shadow of his old self. A replica of the Woohyun from the past - someone he cannot even clearly define anymore.  
  
The black-haired man didn’t let him talk about his past, about the memories that linked them together. But somehow Woohyun doubts, it would’ve changed anything.  
  
He gets up with a heavy heart and stumbles back into the bed. Woohyun lies down and sniffles, raising his hand to wipe his tears away. _Maybe then_. He can’t forget Sunggyu’s words. Does it mean they still have a chance? That he might accept Woohyun back if only he changed? He has two choices: going on like he always has, with his brand clothes and everything, just rebuilding his castle with brick and mortar, making it a bigger and stronger one this time _or_ facing the truth and ending this façade, leaving the castle of lies behind for a chance of ( _maybe_ ) getting his love back.  
  
The answer seems easy, but it is definitely not. Getting Sunggyu back is only a slim chance, a tiny spark of hope, but he knows that something _has_ to change. The love he gets from the crowd in the clubs can never be enough again. Not anymore, now that he knows what love really is; the unconditional kind of love that is not based on money or fame.  
  
But can he change?

 

  
  
**I** t is two days later when he makes a decision. He gets released from the hospital that day and just when he wants to leave his hospital room, Ailee runs into him. “Woohyun!”  
  
He gives her a weak smile. “Oh. Hey. What are you doing here?”  
  
“I thought you might want to know that Soyou-ssi woke up!”  
  
His eyes widen as the older woman hugs him. Despite his gloomy mood, Woohyun manages a honest smile. He hugs Ailee back. “Really?”  
  
“Yes! She can’t talk yet and is pretty much slipping in and out of sleep, but the doctors said that her vitals look good. She is going to make it!”  
  
For the first time in days, Woohyun feels the weight on his heart lifting a bit. “C-Can we…visit her?”  
  
“Yes! That’s why I’m here to get you. Good thing you look a little better now. Getting into a fight right after she is hospitalized, what were you thinking, Woohyun? Soyou-ssi would get a heart-attack if she knew!”  
  
Woohyun sighs. “Sorry…maybe I should not go-“  
  
Ailee hits his forearm. “You have to go. You are basically her only relative here. She sees you as her son, you know that.”  
  
She wraps her arm around his and starts dragging him away. “Come on. She can barely keep her eyes open. I doubt she will notice how your face looks less handsome than usual.”  
  
  
  
 **S** oyou is not awake when they reach her room. The doctor tells them that things are moving along well. He usually doesn’t give out information to people that are not members of the family, but since the old woman has no one else, he makes an exception. But only one person at a time is allowed to enter the room. Ailee tells Woohyun that he can go first and he gives her a thankful smile.  
  
He enters the room and silence meets him. The only sounds he hears are the machines and Soyou’s soft breathing. Woohyun closes the door and walks over to the sit down on the chair next to her bed. “Hello, Soyou. It’s Woohyun.”  
  
Woohyun looks at her peaceful expression and smiles, although the movement brings him a bit of pain still. “I’m glad you made it. You’re a real fighter, aren’t you? Unlike my mom…”  
  
He reaches out to grab her hand. The skin is rough and a bit cold, but it feels warm to him nevertheless. Woohyun lets out a shaky sigh. He cradles the smaller hand in between his palms. “I thought I was going to lose my second mother…”  
  
His voice breaks and Woohyun fights the tears. Just then, he thinks that Soyou squeezes his hand a little. He looks up and sees that she still has her eyes closed, but maybe she heard him nevertheless. “I’m really glad. The past days have been hard and I…I’m pretty lost to be honest. I fucked up, really badly.”  
  
Silence meets him. “I hurt someone pretty bad by lying. I’ve lied to you too…You told me I was finally getting my life together, but turns out that I didn’t. It was nothing but an illusion.”  
  
“He left me after finding out about my lies, because he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. He said I need to change and stop deluding others, including myself. I don’t know if I can stop. Who is the real Woohyun? Can I recover him? Can I be him again? I don’t know if I’m strong enough, Soyou.”  
  
“Boy-“ Woohyun lifts his head and stares at Soyou. Her eyes are still closed, but her brows are furrowed. “Don’t be an idiot… and run away again.”  
  
“But I-“  
  
“You are _you_. You’ve always been you. I don’t know what happened to you before we met, but-” Her speech is interrupted when she starts coughing and Woohyun quickly hands her the glass of water from the small table nearby. She opens her eyes and gives him a thankful smile.  
  
Soyou gives him the glass back when it’s empty. She wants to speak, but Woohyun stops her. “Can I tell you something? I’ve never told anyone about my past. It’s hard to start, to remember…”  
  
She pats his hand softly. “Take your time, Woohyun.”  
  
It takes him a while, but Woohyun tells her about his past. About his father that never really tried, the father he cursed at and the father whose death he thought would be a blessing. About his mother that tried too hard, the one he shouted at and blamed for everything, the mother that left him behind with nightmares. About his first love, the sun of his universe that had burned his castle walls to the ground, Sunggyu who now seemed to be too far away because of Woohyun’s mistake. About how he failed at everything he did.  
  
Soyou listens quietly, though he can hear her gasp at some parts and her eyes are glistening with tears when he’s done. Woohyun feels relieved after telling his story, as if his shoulder got lighter suddenly. Telling Sunggyu still seems impossible, but less impossible than before.  
  
She looks him straight in the eyes. “You’ve gone through terrible things and it scared you, it made you hide. You were a child, Woohyun. Don’t blame yourself too hard. You wanted to protect yourself from further hurt, so you hid yourself behind this mask and tried to put your emotions into a dark corner for your mind. But the fact is that you were never a different person. You just made yourself believe that you were someone else; that this life was enough, that it made you happy and that money was all you needed. When Sunggyu appeared, you started to realize that you were still the same person, how vulnerable you still were, and it scared you. Everything you had believed in for years, the money and the fame, turned out to be fake – so you did what every child would have done, you clang to it nevertheless. You are still a kid in your head, Woohyun. A kid that needed to be an adult far earlier than other children.”  
  
Woohyun takes her words in with a sullen expression. He never changed? He is still the same? A kid? “You’re no longer a kid, though. You need to let go of what happened to your parents, Woohyun. Think about the now. What is important right now? Your expensive clothes? The parties and your so-called friends? What do you really need?”  
  
He sighs and rubs his face with his hands. “Sunggyu, but I don’t deserv-“  
  
A smack hit his head. “Boy! I told you to stop running away. You need to tell him the truth, like you told me. He’s waiting for you.”  
  
“He’s no longer waiting for that kid-“  
  
“Idiot! Not the kid. He is waiting for /you/! Do you think he would have come here and talked to you, if he hated you? He is waiting for you to let him into your heart. You’re a wonderful person, Woohyun. Stop lying to yourself. Try to let go.”  
  
“But he said he can’t believe anything I say anymore…” Woohyun lowers his gaze to the floor.  
  
“The poor boy just found out about it. It must be hard for him too. If you show him all your honesty, he will believe your words. Try to think about your priorities, Woohyun. Take a while to sort out your life and then decide your next step.” She urges him closer with her hands. “Come here, Woohyun, let me give you a hug.”  
  
He moves closer to her without protesting and she wraps her short arms around him, patting his back softly. Woohyun hugs Soyou back carefully, not wanting to hurt her. It feels like being in the arms of his mother and it certainly helps him calm down. “Do you think I can just forget about him and go back to how it was before?”  
  
The old lady sighs. “Do you think you can?”  
  
Woohyun closes his eyes and shakes his head. “No…”  
  
“Then you have your answer.”

  
  
  
**T** he walk home is probably the longest he has ever taken. After the talk with Soyou, he feels determined to change his life. Not half-heartedly like before. Soyou told him he can win Sunggyu back and he wants to believe in this tiny hope. Besides, he knows it’s too late to return to his old self that only cared about brands and parties. The illusion is broken. Woohyun knows the emptiness inside his heart will not get filled by those people in the clubs. They have never loved him and he has never loved them. There’s only one person he loves – he has ever loved – and he won’t be able to win Sunggyu over with his old façade.  
  
Woohyun enters his apartment quietly and kicks his boots into a corner. He walks right over to his wardrobe and opens it. He can see all the items he owns: Rick Owens, Givenchy, Armani…and so on. Names that used to fill him with pride and a fake feeling of happiness. Woohyun grabs a shirt and throws it to the floor in anger. He wants to do the same with the rest with all of his clothes. Woohyun wants to tear them apart and burn them. But then he remembers how much they cost him – how much money they are worth – and Woohyun has a better idea.  
  
  
  
 **H** is next days are filled with selling his stuff. Woohyun starts with the bags and other accessories, selling them to merchants in town, his neighbors or pawnshops. He uses the money to pay his bills first, getting water and electricity running again in his apartment. Woohyun spends another part of the money he earns for food or normal clothes. Although his brand items are used, they still fetch pretty high prices. At some point, Woohyun starts going to an Internet Café to sell the items at online auctions. It feels strange to have a lot of money again suddenly. Woohyun needs a while to realize that he was never really been poor, he just made himself poor by buying those expensive items, instead of using his money for something proper. He is by no means rich, even after selling his brand clothes, because he has his college to pay for and other bills, but Woohyun feels better than before. His stomach is clearly thankful for the regular meals and the headaches get less with each day. Woohyun starts to feel healthy again.  
  
He doesn’t go to the clubs any of these days, although Woohyun finds himself staring at the shelf full of alcohol in the supermarket from time to time. Sometimes he even meets someone from the club on the streets, but Woohyun does not really care what they say or if they recognize him. Some talk to him and even give a positive response ( _“You look better than before!” “I always thought you need a break from all the clubbing!” “I was worried, you know! We should hang out for a cup of coffee someday!”_ ). It’s weird for him how genuinely worried they seem, despite him walking around like any other regular guy and he’s not even buying them any drinks.  
  
Together with Ailee he opens Honeytree again after two weeks of break. Soyou is not able to join them for working, but she’s just one floor above them, resting in her home. It takes the two of them a while before they really become a working team. It’s a bit stressful with two people, especially since customers have been flocking to the bakery ever since the reopening. A lot of the local residents have heard about the incident and want to help Honeytree getting back on her feet. It’s touching how much love Soyou and her bakery are getting, but in Woohyun’s eyes it is well deserved. Ailee’s positive nature is a big help too. She still flinches sometimes when someone makes a loud noise, but Woohyun can see she is doing her best to overcome the trauma.  
  
  
  
Sunggyu is of course not forgotten. He’s on Woohyun’s mind every single day. Woohyun wants to meet him and talk to him, but he waits and waits, because he wants to be worthy of him first. Soyou told him he’s worthy, but Woohyun doesn’t feel like it yet. He dares to walk around the area of the other café sometimes, the place where Sungjong and Sunggyu work. Woohyun never gets too close, especially when Sungjong is working his shift. The thin boy can shoot quite a menacing glare.  
  
One of the days, he spots Sunggyu on the sidewalk in front of the café. He is not alone. Yongguk is by his side and the two of them look so happy together, smiling and laughing, that Woohyun is close to giving up on everything and turning his back to Sunggyu forever. He holds his breath as the taller man cups Sunggyu’s face, obviously to kiss him, but it never happens. Sunggyu pulls back before he can get any further and pushes Yongguk’s hand away slowly. It’s a small gesture, but it gives Woohyun the hope he needs. He watches them arguing for a moment, but Sunggyu only shakes his head to whatever Yongguk says and walks into the café. Yongguk grabs his hair in despair and then climbs into his expensive car again, before driving off.  
  
Woohyun can’t help a relieved smile from forming on his lips. He was close to giving up, because if Sunggyu is happy with Yongguk, then he is not going to interfere with that. But they don’t seem to be together and a tiny part of Woohyun hopes that it’s because of him – because Sunggyu is still waiting for him.   
  
  
  


 

**T** he music is so loud that everything in the room vibrates from the sound waves. The crowd is moving along with the song, everyone standing close to each other, sweaty body against sweaty body. Some people sing along, but their voices get drowned by the music played on stage. It’s similar to the crowd in the club, but people here are not just looking for balance. They are giving each other balance, sharing the excitement and enjoying the music together. They are strangers and yet not the same kind as in the club. The music connects them, making them one big entity until the music stops. They share a common love and it binds them together for this short while. There is no danger and nothing to run from. The crowd is no escape – it’s a home.  
  
Woohyun is in the middle of it all, trying his best not to drown between all the moving bodies. Some give him annoyed looks as he moves through the crowd, trying to find the person he is looking for. It’s hard to recognize any faces though. The concert hall is dark mostly, except for the light coming from the stage. The crowd rejoices as the song ends. He’s been trying to find Sunggyu since the start of the concert, but it seems hopeless so far. There are too many people. Maybe he didn’t come? What if Yongguk is by his side? For a moment the venue lights up as they prepare for the next song. Woohyun looks around in panic and his eyes widen when he spots Sunggyu further in the front.  
  
“Sunggyu!” He knows calling his name is futile, but Woohyun calls him nevertheless as he pushes forward again. It’s not that easy with all the fans thinking he wants to steal their spot, though.  
  
The band starts playing again and the crowd gets moving and screaming again. Darkness surrounds them once more and Woohyun struggles to get to Sunggyu.   


_I can’t figure out since when and since where things went wrong  
Everything feels faint like scattering fog_

_I can’t find anyone who will even listen to me saying, I’m lonely  
Even the reason to endure is getting farther away_

_I fall and break every day  
I hold onto my scar which didn’t even have time to heal  
As I run through the darkness endlessly  
  
_

He gets an elbow into his side about seventeen times now and his hair gets grabbed around eight times, but Woohyun just keeps pushing ahead. He doesn’t know how, but he manages to make it to the front where Sunggyu is. He grabs the older man’s shoulder and Sunggyu snaps his head around. Woohyun sees his eyes widening and then Sunggyu’s mouth moves, but he cannot catch the words because of the loud music around them. It looks like he is saying his name, though. He doesn’t know what makes him more relieved – that Sunggyu doesn’t seem angry or that he’s obviously not here with Yongguk.  
  
Sunggyu says something again, but he can only hear a “here”, possibly inclining the question of what he is doing here. Woohyun just smiles back. Sunggyu frowns and looks back to the stage for a second, before glancing back at him, seemingly unsure of what he is supposed to do now. Woohyun steps a little closer and lifts his hand to turn Sunggyu’s head to the stage again.  
  
He leans forward so that Sunggyu can hear him better. “Watch the show.”  
  
Woohyun steps back again and the older man gives him another short glance, before he goes back to watching the band on stage. He spends his time watching Sunggyu’s back that looks tense at the moment. Sunggyu is not jumping around and singing like the other fans anymore, instead the two of them are like two boulders in the middle of a riptide right now. For a while Woohyun is scared that he might have made the wrong decision in coming here. He didn’t want to destroy the concert for Sunggyu.  
  
  
  
 **T** he crowd calms down when the song is over and a calmer one starts playing. The people start swaying in the rhythm of the song instead and even Woohyun feels himself getting lost in the song, as his eyes fix on the singer instead of Sunggyu.

_I know, it took me quite a while  
I needed time to figure out  
why and how.  
It was like a roller coaster ride  
of never ending questions  
and it still is  
But there is one thing  
that I’m so damn sure of  
and that is you.  
yes. you._

He snaps out of his trance when someone bumps into him. Woohyun catches the other person with his hands, supporting him. He notices the familiar scent of vanilla and then Sunggyu looks over his shoulder again. “Sorry-“  
  
The slower song and quiet crowd finally make it able to communicate, although Woohyun struggles to talk nevertheless. Sunggyu only looks at him, not trying to get out of his hold. “-someone bumped into me.”  
  
He only nods in reply. Woohyun wants to kiss the frown away that appears on Sunggyu’s face right afterwards. “Why are you here?”  
  
Woohyun shrugs. “Enjoying a concert?”  
  
The black-haired man rolls his eyes, obviously not believing his words, and tries to turn away this time, but Woohyun pulls him around and closer to himself. “I’m here for you.”  
  
“Thought you might be alone.” Woohyun adds as the other man doesn’t speak.  
  
The lighting is still bad in the hall, but he is pretty sure that Sunggyu is smiling at him. “Didn’t you tell me not to go?”  
  
The older man is beautiful even in dim light like this, his eyes shining with something Woohyun cannot define. He simply knows it’s beautiful, like everything else about Kim Sunggyu. “Can I kiss you?” He blurts out.  
  
Sunggyu doesn’t seem to have heard him, because he gives him a quizzical look and calls “What?” over the sound of the music. He leans closer, probably to hear Woohyun better, and the younger man feels his resolutions break. In the spur of the moment, he cups Sunggyu’s face and leans in to kiss him. Woohyun can see Sunggyu’s eyes widen in surprise and as he closes in, he waits for the other man to push him away, but nothing happens. Instead, their lips touch without any restriction. It’s tentative and slow, like the first kiss of an innocent middle-school couple that is still awkward with each other. But it’s the best kiss Woohyun has ever had at the same time. It’s perfect and beautiful. Short and yet as long as an eternity.  
  
Woohyun is the one to pull back first and he feels his heart flutter, when he notices that Sunggyu had his eyes closed during the kiss. They stare into each other’s eyes in silence for a while, just enjoying the moment.

_I won’t hide from you  
I know that I’ll be drawn right back to you  
Like Newton’s apple hit the ground  
my gravity always lean towards you_

The older man turns around again in his arms, but doesn’t pull away. Woohyun feels him leaning back against his chest instead. He smiles and leaves his arms hanging around Sunggyu’s waist. Woohyun leans his chin on the other man’s shoulder and watches the rest of the performance with him. He knows they will have to talk. Explanations will have to be given, but for now they are just enjoying a concert.

_After all these years you are_   
_Still the love of my life_   
_ yes. you are._   
_ you are._

He searches for Sunggyu’s hand blindly to give it a squeeze. _You are._  
  
  
  
  
The moment the concert is over, Woohyun feels the anxiousness grabbing his guts. He has prepared himself for this moment, but he is nervous nevertheless. All the preparation in the world would not be enough for the talk they are going to have.  Woohyun just knows that he has to believe in himself and in Sunggyu now. It is up to him to tell the truth now and then there will be nothing but waiting left. Waiting for Sunggyu’s reply.  
  
Their eyes meet for a short moment, words getting exchanged silently. They walk out of the concert hall and Woohyun takes Sunggyu’s hand once they are outside. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.”  
  
Sunggyu doesn’t protest and lets Woohyun lead him away. He probably knows that they won’t be able to have a decent conversation with all these people around them, all hyper from the concert. Woohyun has a destination in mind already. It is the only place that he could think of. It’s the place which has connected both of their lives together for a long time; a place that kept standing, even when their lives crumbled down.  
  
“Are you not going to tell me where we’re going?” Sunggyu asks as they keep walking. “It’s gotten pretty quiet already.”  
  
He looks back at the older man and gives him a smile. “Just a few more minutes. Are you scared I’m going to drag you into some dark alley and murder you?”  
  
“We’re going to the café I work at, aren’t we? You do know it’s closed at this time.” Sunggyu replies, ignoring his question. Woohyun takes his reply as a ‘no’ and it makes him relieved. He knows he should not doubt the other man, but he’s still anxious if Sunggyu will trust him again or not.  
  
He manages a shaky smile. “I know. You noticed?”  
  
Sunggyu chuckles. “It would be weird if I didn’t recognize my way to work.”  
  
“Right…”  
  
“Did you buy new clothes? I don’t recognize a brand.”  
  
Woohyun shrugs. “It’s no brand. I sold my old stuff, everything.”  
  
Sunggyu’s eyes widen. “You did? Can I ask why?”  
  
“I just noticed I don’t need them anymore. There is only one person I want to impress right now and he doesn’t give a shit about brands. Might as well use the money for something better.”  
  
The black-haired man averts his gaze, probably out of shyness. “I see. I wonder if he is going to be impressed by that alone.”  
  
Woohyun pulls him a little closer to himself. “There is more I want to show him.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Everything.” Sunggyu hums in reply and then falls silent. Woohyun just squeezes his hand and continues leading the way to the café.  


 

  
  
**M** inutes later, they stop at a lamppost. The café is on the other side of the street. All the windows are dark, of course, since it’s in the middle of the night. No Sungjong to interrupt them. Sunggyu looks at him. “So? What now?”  
  
Woohyun licks his lips nervously. “I will tell you a story. It’s called ‘ _The true story of Nam Woohyun_ ’.”  
  
“What a simple title.” Sunggyu jokes and he gives the older man a slight shove. “Hey! I apologize, okay?”  
  
The smile drops from Woohyun’s lips. “The story starts during middle school, because, honestly, the rest of his life before that is even more boring than what’s to come.”  
  
Sunggyu smiles and it encourages him to continue. “A little background info might still be needed. Well, his household was not exactly the best. He always wondered why his father wasn’t working. The old man simply stayed at home all day, drinking beer and watching television. He was not violent or abusive. His father was just sitting around, looking half-dead and already done with the world. He never gave Woohyun his attention, not even when he brought good grades home or when he won the national math contest. He just stared into the television blankly - eyes dead and body unmoving. Woohyun’s mother told him that he’s very sick, but she never explained it any further.”  
  
Woohyun makes a short pause and Sunggyu reaches out to squeeze his hand. “What about his mother?”  
  
“They got along quite well until his dad’s sickness got worse. She decided Woohyun should take a break from school, because they needed the money. He fought a lot with his mother after that. He said things that could not be taken back easily. When Woohyun was faced with leaving school for a year, he didn’t want to accept it. You might find it selfish, but there was this guy going to his school, on which he had a huge crush, and he was going to graduate soon. Woohyun didn’t want to lose the little time that was left for them, even if they had never spoken a word with each other. His crush probably didn’t know of his existence.”  
  
“A broken heart…it must have been hard for him. Why did he never try to talk to his crush?”  
  
Woohyun shrugs and smiles weakly. “He was a shy and introverted boy, and his crush was one of the rich kids at school, while Woohyun was just…Woohyun. A poor kid with good grades.”  
  
He notices Sunggyu frowning slightly and Woohyun hurries to tell the rest, because the older man already seems to be drawing a line between their pasts. “He did talk to him once. Woohyun wrote a confession letter, because he thought _‘Might as well try it if I have to leave’_. So he wrote him a letter and waited for him at the school gate. His crush accepted his letter-“ Woohyun laughs shortly. “- more like, he shoved it into his hands and ran away without giving him the chance to reject it. And they promised to meet-“  
  
“-at a café.” Sunggyu interrupts him and Woohyun averts his gaze. “ _This_ café?  Woohyun…which school did you really go to?”  
  
He swallows. “The same as you.”  
  
The black-haired man opens his mouth, but he doesn’t say anything. He just stares at Woohyun with wide eyes, obviously at a loss of words. “W-Why…”  
  
Woohyun took Sunggyu’s other hand as well. “Let me finish the story. Woohyun had a huge fight with his mother that day he wanted to meet his crush. She got a call that someone cut in line and stole the transplant that my- his father was supposed to get. She wanted to go to the hospital with him, but Woohyun…he didn’t care about his dad. He just wanted to get to the café. Such a selfish brat, right? He didn’t know it would’ve been his last chance to see his father.”  
  
“Oh Woohyun…”  
  
“Woohyun simply left and went to the café, but he never made it. Some guys from school had seen him handing the letter over to his crush and they didn’t like him ‘acting out of his line’. They caught him before he could reach the café and made it pretty clear that Woohyun’s crush was out of his reach. He was rich and Woohyun…he’s just…” His voice breaks and Woohyun turns around in shame, trying to hide his tears. _Why are you so weak? Stop crying…_  
  
Arms wrap around him from behind and Sunggyu buries his head in his shoulder. “That’s not true. You know what they said is not true.”  
  
“I- He thought he’s stronger than them, but then he started thinking …maybe he’s really not enough for his crush. I didn’t- I mean, he-“  
  
Sunggyu tightens his grip around him. “Stop that, Woohyun. Stop telling the story as if it’s not your own.”  
  
He suppresses a sob. “I thought it would be…easier to tell you…this way...”  
  
“I saw you waiting in the café…but I didn’t dare to come over. I fainted and woke up in the hospital later…” Woohyun shuts his eyes. He knows he’s trembling from the tears he is keeping in. “My mom told me my father has passed away. She was sure someone had bribed the doctor with money to get in front of us on the list. She…she blamed me for his death- and it hurt so much. Everything…my father’s death, her words and that I lost you- everything…”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you come? Why did you lie…Woohyun… all these years-”  
  
He turns around in Sunggyu’s arms and hugs the older man back. He can see that Sunggyu is crying as well and the tears on his face break Woohyun’s heart. He knows he has to continue his story before it becomes too hard again. “I was too stubborn to admit my mistakes. My mother and me, we fought even more and I spent most of my time in my room.”  
  
Woohyun takes a deep breath. “My mom died in a traffic accident shortly afterwards. It’s my fault she died…I might as well have killed her with my own hands. It’s my fault she was stressed out and that she didn’t even go to the doctor to get treated-“  
  
“It’s not your fault, Woohyun! You were just a kid!”  
  
He clings to Sunggyu desperately. Now he is the one who has his face buried in the other man’s shoulder. “Is that an excuse for the things I said and did, though? But I just ran away from all the pain back then. I got into an orphanage and started lying, becoming someone else; someone that was stronger, someone that would not lose in life just because he didn’t have much money. I thought people would flock to me and give me love if I had money, so I bought expensive stuff and I bought other people’s love. I thought it was enough.”  
  
“I’m sorry I lied…I’m so sorry, so damn sorry. I know I’m disgusting. I-“ He breaks out into tears, although he told himself to be strong.  
  
“Woohyun. You are not disgusting. Woohyun, look at me.”  
  
“Can we…can we just stay like this? Just...for a while.”  
  
A hand strokes his hair. “Sure.”  
  
Woohyun keeps crying while Sunggyu is trying to calm him down with soft touches and warm words. It hurts to remember his mistakes, all the wrongs he had done and the people he had hurt. But he also finds it hard not to cry because Sunggyu is still there. He seems to understand him. Sunggyu is warm and safe and perfect. Woohyun doesn’t know what he would be without his sun. He’s bared his ugly self to Sunggyu and the older man has not rejected him. He cries because Sunggyu cries and because he loves him. There are so many reasons and Woohyun just lets go of all the tears that he has held in for so long.

 

  
  
  
**A** while later they have  move to Sunggyu’s apartment, because it starts raining. Sungjong is not there to Woohyun’s relief. Apparently, he is sleeping overnight at his boyfriend’s house. Sunggyu hands him a big towel and they go to the kitchen, so they won’t get the carpet wet. Woohyun dries his clothes and hair with the towel. The older man is at the kitchen counter meanwhile, making a hot chocolate for both of them. There is a peaceful silence between them. Woohyun has told him everything, all tears have been shed and his shoulders definitely feel lighter now. He feels fuzzy and warm, like always when Sunggyu is around him.  
  
“Here.” He looks up and sees Sunggyu holding the cup out to him.  
  
Woohyun takes it with a short smile. “Thanks.”  
  
The black-haired man sits down as well and it gets quiet again. Woohyun’s cup is almost empty when he finally speaks up. “I’m sorry for everything – for lying to you. Can you forgive me? Do you…believe what I told you?”  
  
Sunggyu meets his eyes, his fingers absent-mindedly drawing circles on the cup. Woohyun holds his breath. The older man cracks a smile. “I always felt like I knew you from somewhere before. You kept denying it and all the things you told me…I believed I was wrong and that it was just my imagination. But you’re him. You’re the boy that gave me that letter years ago.”  
  
He suddenly stands up and moves out of the room. Woohyun wonders if he is supposed to follow him, but he waits instead. Sunggyu comes back after a few minutes with a folded paper in his hands. He sits down and unfolds it. “You forgot to write your name on it, so I didn’t know who gave me the letter. I tried finding you again in the school, but I never spotted that kid again. Guess I now know why.”  
  
The black-haired man pushes the letter over to his side and Woohyun takes it hesitantly. Sunggyu looks at him and quotes the first lines: “ _Sunbaenim, I love you. You’re my sun, my light._ ”  
  
He glances at the other and Sunggyu shrugs. “I read it a lot of times, especially after my parents’ death. I don’t know why. Maybe it gave me strength knowing that there was someone caring for me, even if it was an incredibly cheesy person.”  
  
Woohyun smiles. “I was a kid and you were – _are_ – my first love.”  
  
Sunggyu glances at him. “There was no one else? Ever?”  
  
“No.” He says firmly, looking right into the other man’s eyes. “I told you I’ve always loved you. It’s the truth.”  
  
“I believe you, although you fucked up pretty badly. I should hate you, but I can’t.” Woohyun feels happiness surging through his veins at his words.  
  
He wants to jump up and grab Sunggyu, to kiss him and make him his, but it feels like there is something invisible holding him back. The older man laughs shortly. “It’s kind of awkward now, isn’t it?”  
  
Woohyun nods slowly. It still feels like there is some kind of wedge between them because of Woohyun’s lie and the fight in the hospital. “Maybe we can start anew?”  
  
Sunggyu tilts his head to the side. “How?”  
  
He looks at the letter and suddenly gets an idea. Woohyun folds the letter again and pushes it back to Sunggyu’s side. “Meet me tomorrow. Same place, same time. Wait for me.”  
  
Woohyun stands up and Sunggyu looks up at him. “Are you going to dump me again?”  
  
“No. I’ll be there. I promise.” He walks out of the kitchen to put his shoes on.  
  
“Woohyun!” Sunggyu follows after him.  
  
He slips into his shoes. “You don’t know my name yet!”  
  
The black-haired man folds his arms. “You’re an idiot, Woohyun.”  
  
He grins and steps closer. It’s hard to hide how happy he is, now that he has told the older man everything without getting rejected. Woohyun feels like he is on cloud nine. “You wanted to see the real me.”  
  
Sunggyu smiles back. “I did.”  
  
“See you tomorrow, sunbaenim.” Woohyun says and then he leans in quickly to steal a kiss from Sunggyu’s lips. He then turns around and steps out of the apartment quickly, taking advantage of Sunggyu still being stunned. “Tomorrow! Don’t forget!”  
  
“Y-Yah, Woohyun!” Sunggyu calls after him, but he doesn’t stop. “At least take an umbrella with you!”  
  
And he does come back to fetch the umbrella Sunggyu holds out to him. “Thanks.”  
  
“I’m calling Yongguk if you don’t come.” Sunggyu warns him as he walks off again.  
  
Woohyun waves his hand. “You can delete his number.”  
  
“You’re an idiot.”  
  
He just waves his hand and heads out of the building. A soft “Get home safe” follows him as he steps out into the rain. And for the first time, rain does not seem to be so bad at all.  


  
  
**H** is steps are light as he heads towards his destination. Woohyun feels confident this time. There are no lies left between Sunggyu and himself. He has told him everything and Sunggyu has believed him. This his second chance, probably the last he will ever get. His chance to make what happened forgiven and forgotten. His chance to leave the castle behind forever. Woohyun feels at peace with himself. He is happy and it is not thanks to money that he is this happy. It’s all because of Sunggyu, because of love. Maybe it’s not all a person needs in life, but Woohyun has learned that life without love is no real life. Money can buy you a house and food and many other things, but it cannot buy you friendship or love. It cannot buy you a family or keep you company when you feel lonely. It will not listen to your worries when you are in need for comfort. Money can only help you escape from your problems.  
  
A person can go all around the world if he or she has money, but they can never get home without love.  
  
Woohyun stops at the lamppost and glances over to the café. He chuckles quietly when he spots Sunggyu at the table behind the big window, looking around for him. He’s wearing his glasses again that only make him look cuter. The older man spots him finally and waves at him shyly. Woohyun has to laugh because Sungjong is standing mere centimeters behind Sunggyu and glaring at him. He jumps out of his hiding place and quickly walks over the street.  
  
The bell rings as he pushes the door open and Woohyun feels as light as a feather. He walks over to Sunggyu’s table. “Hi.”  
  
“Hi.” The black-haired man greets back, trying hard to hold his laughter in.  
  
A snort is heard and they turn their heads to Sungjong. “Why are you two behaving like lovesick teenagers? And why are you here any-“  
  
“Ahjussi-“ Woohyun interrupts him and the waiter’s mouth drops wide open. Sunggyu giggles in his seat. “-could you please get me a hot chocolate? Thanks.”  
  
“A-Ahju…”  
  
Sunggyu raises hand. “And one for me too, _ahjussi_.”  
  
They laugh and Sungjong walks away with a red face.  Woohyun sits down. “I see you got my letter, sunbaenim.”  
  
“Are we really going to do this?” Sunggyu asks, holding in his laughter.  
  
Woohyun gives him a stern look and the older man clears his throat. “Maybe you could tell me your name first. You have forgotten this tiny little detail in the letter.”  
  
“It’s Nam Woohyun. Please go out with me, sunbaenim! I love you!” Woohyun bows his head to the other.  
  
Sunggyu hums. “Hmm…but I don’t know anything about you. I think we have to get to know each other first.”  
  
He looks up again and whines. “Hyung! Don’t be mean!”  
  
“You were the one who said we should start anew and that I don’t know you!”  
  
“I didn’t mean it like this! This is torture! I’ve been waiting for your reply for-“  
  
“Yes.” Sunggyu interrupts him and Woohyun blinks.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“You mean you- we?“  
  
“Yes!”  
  
“God, this is disgusting.” Sungjong puts the two cups on the table. “Just kiss already. I’m going to get rashes.”  
  
  
  
And of course they kiss. Woohyun almost throws over the table when he jumps up in excitement to reach for Sunggyu.  
  
  
  
  
  
 ** _R_** _umors have it that Sungjong stayed in the restroom for the rest of his shift. It is not recorded if he was throwing up into the toilet or simply hiding from the couple.  
  
It is a wonder he did not get fired.  
  
Other voices say that Yongguk saw the whole  seen between Woohyun and Sunggyu, and Sungjong had to drag him out of the café to stop him from making a scene, hence missing from his shift. They also state that Sungjong beat him up in the alley behind the shop, until the grown man was a bloody pulp and begging for his life, but there are many that doubt this part of the story.  
  
  
Either way, the couple didn’t care. Woohyun and Sunggyu were too busy eating each other’s faces to care about their surroundings._


End file.
